


Obssesed

by wings_stardust



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels, Demons, Hurt Castiel, Hurt Dean, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, mentions of torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-10
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-03-17 06:31:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 42,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3518924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wings_stardust/pseuds/wings_stardust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean get taken by demons while Sam, Bobby and Castiel race to find where he's being held and try to rescue him</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first story i have written so please be kind and bare with me, also my spelling sucks just in case the spell catch missed a few. 
> 
> more characters will be added later in the story didn't want to put them in tags and spoil the suprise so you'll have to keep reading to find out who.

Chapter 1

They were standing around Bobby’s living room trying to work out where the demons would have taken Dean it was a long night with no leads the demon just appeared from no where after the fight, grabbed hold of Dean and vanished so fast that even Castiel had no time to react.

Castiel suddenly cried out in pain and dropped to his knees breathing heavily, Sam was instantly by his side with Bobby on the other,

 

“Cas you ok, what is it?” Sam asked,

 

Castiel raised his eyes to meet Sam’s his crystal blue eyes still filled with pain.

“It’s Dean, I can feel his pain, Sam, he’s in incredible pain, but he’s also calm at the same time” His eyes dropped to the floor taking deep breaths to calm his vessel. “I don’t understand how he can be so calm and in so much pain at the same time”

 

“He was tortured for 30 years in hell Cas” Sam say’s “He’s a lot stronger then we think he is”

 

“I know how strong he is Sam” Castiel replied sharply.

 

“I just… it’s a strange feeling to have, I haven’t got used to them”.

 

Sam helped him stand up again “Wait, if you can feel his pain or his emotion can you tell where he is, or track him somehow”.

“No Sam, it’s not like that, I could always feel when Dean was distressed or injured, but not to find him”

 

“So what, you can’t use your grace to find him if you, I don’t know, reach out to his soul or something” Sam asked

 

Cas stood there for a moment and thought “I don’t know, I’ve never tried to connect to his soul like that before over a distance. I could always sense him when he was close, I just do not know Sam”

 

“Ok, can you try we don’t have much else to go on at the moment”

 

Castiel didn’t answer straight away and thought how to connect to Dean “I could meditate, clear my mind and focus only on Dean try to reach out to his soul”

 

“Great lets try it” Sam says with hope in his voice finally they have something to focus on. “What do you need”

 

“Somewhere to lie down, it will help to be totally relaxed and undisturbed so I can fully focus on Dean” Castiel looks up to meet Sam’s eyes “I don’t know if this will work Sam it is very rear for an angel to find a human this way” But Castiel knows his bond is strong with Dean after pulling him out of Hell and holding his soul so close to his grace and just maybe he can reach Dean and find out where he is, only if he can send a reassuring feeling to him and help Dean hold on till they can get to him.

 

Castiel uses Bobby’s panic room being the most secure room in the house. Castiel lays down on the small cot that’s there and starts to calm his vessel by taking long slow breaths to fall into a deep meditated state.

 

After a few minutes he starts to drift and feels weight less like he does when he is flying and gliding though the air.

Castiel concentrates and remembers what it felt like to hold Dean’s soul so close to him when he flew out of Hell and the light coming from it, he remembers thinking it is the most beautiful and brightest soul he has ever seen and uses his grace to sooth the soul on the way out of Hell Castiel thinks back to when he prepares and heals Dean’s body so it is ready for his soul to be put back where it belongs.

 

There’s a flash in Castiel’s mind of green eyes staring at him full of fear at something, Castiel jerks up looking around the room and realizing he is alone.

He lays back down and try’s again to connect, it doesn’t take long to find that feeling of Dean’s soul and Castiel keeps hold of it this time and focusing on the green eyes he saw before and tries to find them again.

But this time he can hear screaming and shouting and Castiel follows the sound knowing its Dean he’s flying though white light following the sound and there’s a shape forming in the light, Castiel concentrates on that getting nearer as he does Castiel realizes it is a shape of a body with it’s arms stretched above it’s head Castiel cant quite see why, but moves closer to it.

 

Suddenly another scream and Castiel realizes the body he can see is Dean’s hanging by his arms from somewhere above him.

Dean’s body slowly comes into focus and Castiel can see cuts and burns over the front of Dean’s body, arms and legs.

When the demon who was with Dean leaves, Castiel goes closer to him and feels out with his grace.

Dean gasps and raises his head quickly.

 

“Cas” Dean’s voice sounds rough from shouting, he looks around in front of him, “is that you, Cas, or am I just loosing my mind”

 

Castiel reaches out again to try and reassure Dean it’s him and Dean shudders and curls his lips in a small smile “I thought that was you” Dean frowns “not sure how I knew” while Dean takes slow breaths to calm himself Castiel looks around the building Dean is in.

 

“You coming to get me out of here?” Dean asked while he pulled on his restraints Castiel follows his eyes to where Dean’s hands were cuffed with thick metal around his wrists and thick chains attached to a metal beam that runs across the leanth of the room about five meters above Dean’s hands.

 

“Hey Cas you still here?” Dean asks with a little worry in his voice.

 

Castiel sends his grace to Dean again who lets out a sigh of relieve.

 

Castiel concentrates a little harder on Dean and tries to let him hear his voice, Castiel says Dean’s name twice with no reply Castiel then reaches out for Dean’s soul with his grace.

 

“Dean” the sudden sound of his name made Dean jump he looked around thinking the demon’s had returned to him.

 

“Dean, can you hear me it’s Castiel” hoping that Dean would recognise his voice.

 

“Yeah, I can hear you Cas, wow that’s weird” Dean replies which makes Castiel smile “how come I can hear you but not see you?”

 

“I am not really here I am at Bobby’s and have used my grace to connect to your soul”

 

“Ok that sounds compucated, and I’m too tired for an explication right now, how’s Sam doing”

 

“He is worried about you”

 

“Yeah I bet he is, but he’s ok he didn’t get hurt during the fight or anything?”

 

“No Sam is well, it was his idea that I try to find you using my grace after…” Castiel stopped worried to keep going knowing that Dean would blame himself for Castiel feeling his pain and didn’t want him to feel guilty about something that is out of his control.

 

“After what Cas?”

 

Castiel had no choice but to continue knowing he could never lie to Dean.

 

“I felt your pain, Dean”

Dean closed his eyes after hearing that “I’m sorry about that, Cas”

 

“You have nothing to apologize for Dean” Castiel said while pushing more of his grace to comport Dean.

 

Dean huffed and smiled “Thanks Cas” After a few minutes Dean broke the silence “You cant get me out of here can you?”

Dean asked opening his eyes and looking up, his eyes suddenly went wide when his sight catches something behind Castiel.

 

“Who are you talking too”

 

Castiel spun around to where he heard the deep voice come from, he jerked back and sat up straight on the bed in the panic room.

 

“Alistair” Castiel said out loud with shock on his face and in his voice.


	2. Chapter 2

 “Alistair” Castiel looked to where Sam’s voice came from, he stood by the door watching Castiel.

“Alistair has Dean” Castiel tells Sam looking down to the floor.

“Fuck” Sam closes his eyes then looks up at Castiel “Wait, it worked you saw Dean, was he all right, where is he?” Sam said in one quick sentence while stepping closer to Castiel.

“He’s being held in a warehouse as best I could tell from the surroundings I saw”

“But you know where that is… right Cas?” Sam asked with a touch of worry in his voice.

Castiel stands up from where he was sitting on the bed, “Not exactly Sam it was hard to stay in contact with Dean, but now I’ve found him once it should be easier to do it again and get better recon, and ask Dean if he knows where he was taken” Castiel suddenly flinches and sits down again on the bed.

“Cas what is it” Sam asked squatting down and putting his hand on Castiel’s shoulder. “It’s Dean isn’t it” Castiel closes his eyes and nods once.

“Dame it, we have to find him and get him away from that bastard before it’s too late Sam says running his hand through his hair.

“He wont kill him Sam, he will want to keep Dean for as long as he can”

“Yeah, I know, I remember when Dean came back from Hell and the mess he was in, he’d try and hide it from me but I could see how much pain he was in from the nightmares he was having after spending so much time with Alistair”

“I know Sam, he’s not in Hell this time, he is here on Earth, somewhere and we will find him so keep faith that we will, and he is not alone I will help him as much as I can”

Sam smiled “I know you will Cas, it’s just I’m not sure he’ll make it through again after last time” Sam took a deep breath and stood up

“He is strong Sam, he will get though this we will find Dean he hasn’t been gone that long and he lasted for forty years in Hell and thirty of them was being tortured at the hands of Alistair I am certain he will survive and we can find him quickly it is not like the last time”

“Ok, I’ll go fill Bobby in and start looking at warehouses in the area hopefully they didn’t take him too far from the hunt we were on, you go back to Dean and see if you can get anymore information that will help us find him” Sam said while heading to the door to make his way back up stairs to where Bobby was. Sam looked over his shoulder “tell him we’ll get him out as quick as we can”

“I will tell him, Dean was more worried about how you were then himself”

Sam laugh “Yeah that sounds like Dean always worried about me even when he’s in trouble”

“He’ll always worry about you Sam, you’re his brother and I am certain you worry just as much as he does”

Sam huffed “Yeah I do, he cares about you too, he was really worried when you were missing that week when that rouge angel banished you, Dean did every thing we knew of to find you, then you just turned up one day and that was it, you were back”

“Yes I remember that Dean said a few choice words then would not speak to me for days” Castiel replied with a frown on his face.

Sam laugh “That’s just Dean’s way, he does that when someone he cares about goes missing he doesn’t know how to handle it” Sam smiles at Castiel from the door “When I was a young teenager I ran away for a few day’s, when I came back Dean slapped me round the head and didn’t speak to me for two weeks, I didn’t know how much of a bad time dad gave Dean and I felt really bad about it and worrying them like that, I didn’t think about them at the time just wanted some time to myself just wanted to do what I wanted with no one telling me what to do or when to do it and where to go”

Castiel gave Sam a little nod “I have learned a lot from watching you and Dean together and the close sibling relationship you both share together, I do not have that kind of bond with my brother and sister’s, sometimes I wanted that closeness like you and Dean have”. Castiel’s eyes drifted to the floor Sam smiled

“Your part of our family now Cas, me, Dean, Bobby and you, we all stick together for the good and the bad”

Castiel raised his eyes to meet Sam’s “Thank you Sam that means a lot to me. Now lets get on with our task and get your brother back shall we”

“Absolutely, good luck Cas” and Sam left leaving Castiel alone in the panic room again. Castiel laid back down on the bed and listened to Sam going up stairs when he heard the door close he closed his eyes and concentrated on Dean.

It was a lot easer this time and didn’t take as long.

He entered the room and his eyes went wide when they landed on Dean his back was facing Castiel this time and it was covered in blood.

As Castiel came slowly closer to Dean he could make out dozens of slashes across his back where he has been whipped.

Castiel could see it hadn’t long been done and the cuts were still bleeding and running down his back and legs and it looked like something was rubbed into the cuts to be more painful Castiel couldn’t tell what it was.

Castiel moved round to Dean’s front to see his face.

Dean looked paler then before from the blood loss and his eyes were closed but Castiel could see his chest moving as he breathed and Castiel looked at Dean’s soul and saw it was just as bright.

Castiel was relieved at how his soul still shines even when Dean was in bad shape.

Castiel called out his name a few times but with no response, so he looked around where they were to see if he could see anything that would help them find his location.

There wasn’t much in the room Dean was in just an empty warehouse, there was a door at one end where Alistair must have come from last time he was here and windows around the top of the walls so he couldn’t see any other buildings only sky.

Giving a glance at Dean, Castiel floated up to look out of the window’s, he could see a few more warehouses a couple of burnt out cars but no people and it was very quiet he glanced to the other side and saw a river at the end of the block which might help them with Dean’s location.

At that moment Dean began to cough and gag spitting out blood as he came too. Castiel floated back down to him.

“Dean, are you alright?” Dean moaned and slowly opened his eyes

“Hey Cas, you came back”

“Of course Dean, we need more information about where you are being held” Dean was taking shallow breaths

“I thought I was imagining you were here earlier”

“That’s understandable Dean, you have lost a lot of blood”

“Yeah I know, I feel pretty week” Dean tried to stand to take some stress off his arms, he slipped on his own blood on the floor and couldn’t hold his own weight with his legs anyway so he gave up and hung there by his arms which he couldn’t feel anymore.

“I… I wish I could see you Cas I feel pretty stupid talking to an empty room, … he’s the only one I see now even his demon lackeys have stopped coming in here, Alistair never did like to share” Dean gave a little huff to that and his eyes drooped and opened slowly

“I’m not sure I can do that Dean” he sighed slowly while looking at Dean.

“It’s ok Cas, it doesn’t matter”

Castiel felt sad at how disappointed and tired Dean looked at that moment.

Castiel concentrated on his grace and the shape of his vessel and slowly Dean could see him like he was standing on the other side of a misty window he kept watching eyes wide as Castiel came into focus with a smile and a small laugh Dean could see Castiel

“Dude, your awesome,…you’re a sight for saw eyes” Castiel slowly opened his eyes and looked straight at Dean.

“Hello Dean”

“Hi Cas, God I’ve missed your eyes” Castiel gave Dean a small smile and there stared at each other for a few minutes then Dean started to cough again,

“Dean” Castiel called with worry in his voice

“I’m ok Cas”

“Dean do you know where you are, can you tell me anything you remember about how you got here”

Dean shook his head “No, that demon grabbed me at the last hunt, transported me here as soon as we arrived another demon stabbed me with a needle in my neck, then lights out, when I came too I was chained up like this with Alistair standing in front of me with that fucking smile on his face” Dean took a few deep breaths.

“Dean, do you know what he wants”

Dean looks Castiel straight in his eyes “Dean?”

“He wants me Cas, he said he missed me and I was always his favourite and he wants me back in Hell with him” A few tears fell from Dean’s eyes as he spoke those words and he closed his eyes to block them out.

Castiel lets his grace comfort Dean and he opens his eyes again.

“That’s what he wants, he wants me back in Hell with him, he wants me by his side but he needs me to agree he cant just take my soul he needs me to say yes and make a deal, I can’t, I can’t do that again, I can’t Cas” more tears fell and Castiel wanted to reach up and touch Dean’s face but stopped half way realizing he couldn’t. Dean understood what Castiel wanted to do and gave him a small smile Castiel still wanted to comfort Dean and let his grace surround his body which seemed to help.

Dean’s breathing calmed down and he seemed to pull himself together

“Thanks Cas...Don’t let Sam know how messed up I am ok , he doesn’t need to know any of this”

“Of course Dean, if that is what you want” Dean just nodded at him.

“You have to promise me something Cas” Dean looking straight into Castiel’s eyes.

“What is it Dean?” Castiel asked.

“You have to promise me that if anyone comes in here while you are here, you have to promise that you’ll leave straight away”

Castiel was a little shocked that Dean wanted to go through this by himself but he should have known that Dean wouldn’t want anyone seeing him go though something like this and wanted to go it along with out putting any guilt or hurt on any one else.

“Dean, I could help you though this, it may help you to have someone to focus on and..”

Dean cut Castiel off with a firm “NO… I don’t want you here seeing that Cas, I just don’t… please”

“Dean I have seen you in Hell and have seen you do more worse things there then this”

“I know that Cas, but this is different”

“How”

“That was me doing them, not having them done to me , please you have to promise me”

Castiel just stared at Dean for a minuit until Dean spoke again his voice so small shaken

“Please Cas, please promise me you’ll leave, please”

Castiel closed his eyes and nodded slowly Dean let out a breath he was holding

“Thanks Cas”

Just at that moment the door opened and Alistair came walking in pushing a trolley that was covered by a cloth. Dean turned to Castiel who was still staring at him and Dean gave him a small smile and nodded, but Castiel didn’t move an inch.

As Alistair got nearer to Dean saying “Ahh, Dean, how’s my favour pet”

Dean suddenly had panic in his eyes realising that Castiel isn’t leaving,

“Please, go, please” Dean pleads to Castiel quietly so Alistair doesn’t hear him, Castiel closes his eyes and drops his head when he opens his eyes again he is back in the panic room with tears of his own running down his vessels face.


	3. Chapter 3

  Castiel turns on his side and just lays there for a while until his vessel is under control with the emotions he is feeling.

Castiel stands up and goes to the small sink and washes his face, he could use his angel mojo as Dean calls it but this feels better at the moment and lets the cold of the water wash away his tears for a friend, when he’s ready he heads up stairs to where Sam and Bobby are to let them know what he has found out about Deans location.

After Castiel tells Bobby and Sam all the information in as much detail as he can, Sam goes into the other room to his lap top and puts in the info from Cas hoping it will narrow down where to look for Dean.

After he had left Castiel sat down in the chair opposite Bobby at his desk and closes his eyes for a few minutes. Bobby who has been watching the angel since Sam left asks in his gruff voice “Are you alright boy”

Castiel looks up to him and replies “I am fine Bobby”

Bobby narrows his eyes at him

“I am just tired from using so much of my Grace to connect to Dean that is all”

“Right, of course” Bobby says while nodding his head “All right now Sam’s gone how about you tell me how’s Dean really doing” Cas looks at the old hunter with wide eyes.

“I have known that boy most of his life to know he asked you not to tell Sam, But I want you to tell me how he really is, and no holding back, you got that” Castiel just stares at Bobby for a few minutes

“Dean did not want Sam to know, and I can not betray his trust Bobby”

“I understand that, but did Dean say you couldn’t tell me”

“No he did not”

“So tell me”

It took Castiel a good ten minutes to reply, then he told Bobby about Dean’s injures only and not his emotional state he knew Dean wouldn’t want even Bobby to know how upset he had gotten the last time Cas had seen him so he reframed from telling Bobby.

After Cas had finished Bobby let out a breath removed his hat and ran his hand over his head and then down his face after replacing his hat he looked back at Castiel

“I knew it would be bad, but, hell, I wasn’t expecting that, how much longer do you think he’ll survive if he’s loosing that much blood?”

“Alistair will give Dean time to recover, even more blood if he needs to, as I told Sam he’ll want to keep Dean for as long as he can”

“Yeah, well, he’ll just have to be disappointed won’t he when we take Dean away from him and kill the bastard”.

Bobby rose to his feet and started passing a few times across the room he grabbed a few more maps and returned to his desk just as Sam returned holding his lap top he glanced at Castiel then Bobby

“Every thing ok?”

Bobby looked up to him “Yeah, what you got” nodding at the lap top.

“I’ve fount a few places where Dean may be from what Cas told us”

“How many is a few?” Bobby asked.

“I’ve narrowed it own to four”

“I can go and check them out, you get ready to go on my return” Castiel said raising to his feet.

“Ok, great” Sam said handing the list he’s made then Castiel was gone.

Sam looked back at Bobby “So what were you two talking about when I came in?”

Bobby looked at Sam

“Just checking on the boy”

Sam raises his eye brows

“He looks a little ragged around the edges, it’s taking more out of him then he thought”

“Yeah, I suppose” replied Sam

“You noticed he was sitting down, he hardly ever does that with other people around”

“Yeah Bobby I noticed how tired he looks, but first lets get Dean back then we can worry about Cas and make sure he gets some rest”

“Yeah ok so lets get ready for when he returns hopefully he would have found the right place and we can go straight away, so move your ass boy and get on with it” Sam raises to his feet

“Yes sir”

Bobby and Sam start to gather what they think they may need packing weapons, holy water a few spells and ingredients just in case not knowing what to expect or what they will find.

When Cas returned they were ready to go.

“Any luck” Sam asked when seeing the Castiel appear in the room.

“Yes, the third one on your list it has signals on the out side to protect the building”

“Signals like what” Bobby asked

“Some to hide them from other demons, and a few for angel’s that is why I could not find Dean before”

“O, that’s great, so you can’t get in, that’s brilliant” Sam said in a raised voice.

“It’s alright Sam I can break them and allow me access in the building, Bobby has all the ingredients that I need, I will prepare them now it wont take long, are you both ready to leave?” Sam and Bobby both said yes and nodded.

Castiel put a few ingredients in a bag with a gold bowl and chalk. Bobby and Sam left in the Impala on there way to Dean, Castiel stayed at Bobby’s so he could contact Dean and let him know they were on there way to him and should be there soon.

When Castiel appeared in the room where Dean had been held he saw the chains that held Dean dangling from the metal beam were empty, no Dean, a spike of panic rose within Castiel when he saw the empty chains and worried that Alistair had moved Dean elsewhere, but then calmed realizing he would not be here if Dean wasn’t.

“Cas”

He heard his name spoken in a whisper and turned around to find Dean strapped to a table, Castile moved closer to Dean looking him over, he was in much worse shape then before.

His hands and feet were strapped with leather restraints and a thick leather collar around his neck and across his chest so he couldn’t move, Castiel could see he was in a lot of pain by the way Dean was breathing in shallow breaths so he did not have to move much, not that he could by the way he was strapped down, it reminded Castiel of the racks in Hell when he rescued Dean, Castiel shook the thought out of his head he didn’t need to be thinking about that right now.

“Cas, please, you got to get me off of this thing, please” Dean’s eyes were wide with panic and fear “I can’t be on this, I can’t be here again please Cas, you can get me out you did it the first time, please Cas, I can’t be here” Dean pleaded with Cas thinking he was back in Hell and wanted Cas to release him.

“Dean, you are not in Hell you are on Earth” Castiel said trying to calm Dean down his breathing had quickened up with his panic

“Dean you must calm down your are hyperventilating” but Dean didn’t seem to be able to focus on what Cas was saying and continued to plead with him and getting more panicked

“Dean look at me” Castiel said trying to get Dean’s attention but it wasn’t working and Dean was getting more stressed and freaked out.

Castiel leaned over Dean’s face as close as he could get so Dean could only see him in his eyes and spoke firmly while giving as much grace into Dean to reassure him and gain his attention.

“Dean, Dean look at me, you are not in Hell do you hear me, you are not in Hell, I am here with you, you are on Earth not in Hell, Dean”Dean’s eyes seemed to focus on Castiel as he spoke.

“Dean you must calm down, take deep breaths and calm your breathing, all right Dean, come on Dean follow what I do Dean” Castiel kept repeating Dean’s name making him focus on him and concentrating on his breathing.

Cas kept talking to him telling him to breath in and out in time with him, after a few minutes Dean’s breathing calmed and he blinked his eyes a couple of times returning to normal and not so full of fear.

“Cas?”

“Yes Dean”

“What happened”

“You were hallucinating and thought you were back in Hell”

“O, ok, sorry about that” Dean said with a frown and looking confused “Can you get me off this thing now”

“I’m sorry Dean, but I can not touch anything I am not in my body, do you remember I came a few hours ago to see you” Castiel kept his voice low and calm still seeing that Dean looked confused.

“Yeah, yeah I remember Cas” Dean replied closing his eyes and taking a couple of deep breaths.

“Dean I came to tell you we know where you are and Sam and Bobby are on there way now in the impala”

Dean’s eyes flew open “Sammy’s driving my car”

Castile gave him a small smile “Yes Dean, I will join them and the next time you see me I will be able to release you, so you only have to hold on a little longer alright Dean, can you do that”

It was Dean’s turn to give Cas a small smile “Sure Cas, no problem”

Castiel never broke eye contact with Dean while speaking “Are you alright if I leave now Dean?”

Dean’s smile disappeared from his face and replaced with a frown “Sure Cas” Dean said in a small quiet voice, Castiel felt bad leaving Dean like this but he knew Sam and Bobby wouldn’t be far away and he needed to join them.

“Alright Dean, I will see you soon, it will not be long”

“Ok Cas,…please…hurry”

“We will Dean” Cas stayed for a few more seconds then returned to his vessels body, Dean was left alone again he let out a long sigh and closed his eyes and prayed they wouldn’t be long and this nightmare would soon be over.


	4. Chapter 4

 Castiel appeared in the back seat of the Impala making both Sam and Bobby jump.

“You idjit boy you trying to give me a heart attack”

Castiel just glanced at Bobby.

“How’s Dean doing Cas” Sam asked

“We need to hurry, Dean’s having hallucinations about being in Hell’ it took me a few minutes to convince him he was no longer in Hell and was on Earth”

“Shit, step on it boy” Bobby said looking back to the map in his hands as Sam pressed the gas peddle down harder.

“I would be careful Sam Dean was concerned about you driving his car”

Sam suddenly laugh at that and Bobby smiled “Should have know that ijit boy would worry more about his car then his own skin” Bobby said with a laugh

“Yeah, should have known” Sam said still smiling looking at the road. Castile felt a bit of pride at making both Sam and Bobby smile and easing some of the stress in the car as they drove to Dean.

“Ok, so what’s the plan” Sam asked

“We go to where Dean is and rescue him” Cas replied flatly.

“I think the boy wanted a bit more of a plan then that feathers” Bobby replied turning and looking at Castiel.

“Well first we need to break the Angel proofing signals so I can enter the building, once we are inside I should be able to tell how many demons there are and where Dean is”

“So you don’t know where he is now”

“No Sam, I was only able to be where Dean was I do not know how many other rooms there are or how large the place is he’s been kept in”

“Great” Sam said with a huff.

“Do not worry Sam I will be able to sense Dean when we are inside, take the next right”

Sam turned right and about five minutes there reached the warehouse where Castiel said Dean was.

Sam and Bobby got the weapons out of the trunk Castiel started drawing a sign on the ground with the chalk and placed the gold bowl in the middle of it he added the ingredients which he had bought from Bobby’s house and said an incantation they was a flash of light from the walls of the building Castiel stood up and walked towards the building.

“Let’s go” he said to Sam and Bobby not looking back knowing they were right behind him he raised his hand and the door’s flew open when there were inside he told Sam and Bobby they were eight demons left in the building four in the room with Dean, two were in the room on the left of the joining room and two at the back of the building they were also three at the front entrance which Castiel had already taken care off.

As they made they way down a corridor to when Dean was two demons that were in the room to the left appeared one in front and one behind, Bobby shot the demon behind them with a salt round from his shot gun Castiel pinned the other demon to the wall while Sam said the exorcism when the demon was gone Sam cheeked the body.

“He was already dead Sam, all the humans the demons have possessed are dead, I can’t feel any of there souls”

Sam let out a breath and stood back up and followed Cas again he blew the door’s off the room where Dean was.

Two demons stood just inside the door who were knocked off there feet by Castiel’s entrance there was one further to the back of the room and the last one by Dean where he was still tied to the rack.

The demon raised a knife ready to plunge it into Dean’s chest and killing him Sam yelled as Castiel disappeared and flew straight to the demon appearing in a split second next to him and grabbed his hand flinging him to the other side of the room into a wall denting the brick as the demon hit it.

Castiel glanced down to Dean making sure he was alive then pinning the demon he just throw and the one at the back of the room to the wall, saying the exorcism in enochian and watching as the demons left there human body they possessed Castiel released the body’s and they dropped lifelessly to the floor, he looked at Sam and Bobby making sure they were handling the other two demons with out needing assistance.

Castiel returned to Dean’s side he placed his hands on either side of Deans head his eyes were closed and hadn’t moved since they entered the room.

“Dean?…Dean?” Castiel called to him but they was no movement he put one hand on Dean’s forehead and the other on his chest, closed his eyes and concentrated, while he was doing this Sam and Bobby who had finished dealing with the demons stood on the other side of Dean watching what Castiel was doing.

Sam was looking over Dean’s injuries and heard Bobby curse quietly beside him Sam glanced up to him with worried eyes and was met with the same expression on Bobby’s face.

Castile opened his eyes removing his hand from Dean’s chest and sliding the other into Deans hair.

“Dean’s alright, he’s just unconscious” he started to undo the leather collar around deans neck and Sam and Bobby followed, Sam undoing Dean’s right arm that was next to him and Bobby going to Dean’s feet Castiel undoing his other arm and the strap over deans chest.

“He has more injuries now then when I last saw him, Alistair must have come back to him after I left”

Castiel just realizing that they hadn’t come across Alistair and glanced to Sam with a puzzled look as Sam asked “Where is Alistair?”

“I do not know, I can not sense him here but he is a old powerful demon so I may not be able to or he can shield him self from me.” just then Castiel’s eyes looked to the side of Sam “Lets find out” Castiel raised his hand Sam flinched and looked behind him to find two more demon’s froze in place they must have been the ones at the back of the building coming to see what the noise was.

Castiel walked around Dean and went to stand in front of the demons.

“Where is Alistair” Castiel demanded in a powerful voice it made Sam take half a step back and glad it wasn’t directed at him. The demons however had other ideas.

“We wont tell you anything”

“Is that so” Castiel replied “Then we will just have to send you home”

“What?” the demon gasped even demons didn’t want to return to hell if they could help it. Castiel flung him to the opposite wall.

“Sam would you mind” Castiel said never taking his eyes off the other demon he held.

Sam moved in front of the demon pinned and started the exorcism, while Bobby stayed close to Dean.

“Well will you tell me what I want to know” Castiel addressed the other demon

“What’s in it for me” the demon replied

“I will release you”

“You will?” the demon seemed unsure of this but still replied “I don’t know where he is now, he was here playing with that meat over there, then their was a flash of light he told us to kill anyone who entered the building he took one last look at him before vanishing, I swear that’s all that happened I don’t know where he is now”

Castiel glared at him not liking how he was referring to Dean.

“Can you not sense where he is being another demon”

“No way I couldn’t sense him when he was standing right next to me, not that he spent any longer then he had to with us , didn’t like mixing with his own kind, the only thing he ever said was he liked playing with his pet and hated it up hear, he couldn’t wait to get back home, he’s crazy if you ask me who would choose to go back to hell in stead of staying up top, but he said he wouldn’t leave with out his prize” glancing at Dean, Castiel took a step closer making a low growl in the back of his throat and narrowing his eyes.

“Hey easy, that’s what he said” his eyes widening as Castiel advanced towards him. “Will you let me go now? I don’t know anything else to tell you”

“No” Castiel said in a firm voice.

“What, but you said you would”

“I lied” Castiel replied coldly and exorcised the demon right where he stood when he finished he turned to Sam and Bobby then looking at Dean.

“Can we go now before anything else turns up” Bobby asked

“Yes” Castiel said approaching Dean’s side he slipped off his trench coat and laid it over Dean then scooped him up into his arms, Dean’s head rolled to the side and rested on Castiel shoulder and he made his way out of the warehouse and out to the Impala.

Bobby turned to Sam “Never mess with a protective Angel” Then followed Castiel out side Sam huffed and nodded then followed behind.


	5. Chapter 5

  Castile sat in the back with Dean they had put a blanket on the seat so Dean’s skin wouldn’t stick to the leather, his back was in a bad way from the whip slashes he had Castiel’s coat was still over him and his head in Castiel’s lap.

Castiel was stroking his fingers through Dean’s hair as Sam drove with Bobby next to him they didn’t say much and just wanted to get Dean back to Bobby’s where it was safe and he could recover in a comfy bed.

Dean groaned and his eyes fluttered open very slowly, Castiel looked down at him Deans eyes were darting around the roof of the car looking for something to focus on he caught sight of Castiel and his green eyes locked on to cas’ blue

“Cas?”

“Yes Dean, you are safe we are in the Impala on our way to Bobby’s”

Sam pulled the car over hearing Castiel talking to Dean

“Sam and Bobby are here as well”

“Sam?” Dean asked as Sam turned around to lean over the seat to meet Dean’s eyes so he didn’t have to move much he took Dean’s hand gently.

“Hey Dean, I’m right here”

“Hey Sammy” Dean’s eyes moved to look at Bobby “Hey Bobby”

“Hey your self son, how you feeling”

“Tired” is all Dean could say

“You rest son we’ll soon be back at mine and we can get you fixed up and back on your feet in no time” Dean’s eyes closed again then he opened them and looked at Sam “You driving my car Sammy?” Dean asked with a small grin

“Yep Dean I am so unless you get your ass up here I’m driving” Sam said smiling back at Dean.

Dean lifted his head and lowered it back to Cas’ lap “You know, I’m quiet comfortable where I am, you go ahead Sammy” Dean closed his eyes again relaxing on the seat. Sam and Bobby both laugh and Sam pulled back on the road it would take another hour before reaching Bobby’s.

Dean had been asleep for twenty minutes when he jerked and his eyes flew open.

“Dean?” Castiel said quietly so the other two men in the car didn’t hear him. Dean glanced at him and held his gaze Castiel was contented to just stare back at Dean.

“It’s ok Cas, I’m fine”

Castiel put his other hand over Dean’s heart with a worried expression, Dean put his hand over Cas’ and gave him a small smile Castiel’s other hand was still stroking his hair and Dean just couldn’t keep his eyes open, to exhausted from his time spent with Alistair.

When they arrived at Bobby’s Castiel carried Dean inside and Sam lead him to one of the bedrooms they use when they stayed at Bobby’s.

Castiel laid Dean down gently while Sam got the first aid kit and what else he needed to see to Dean’s injuries. Castiel helped Sam clean up Dean’s cuts and other injuries on his chest, bandaged the cuts and burns on his arms and wrists where he was cuffed and cleaned the cuts on his legs when finished Sam got clean water and Castiel rolled Dean over so they could see to his back. Sam winced when he saw close up the state of it not realizing how bad it was it took a good hour to clean and stitched up every slash over his back Castiel made sure Dean wouldn’t wake while Sam worked.

When they finished Sam cleaned up, Castiel rolled Dean on to his side so he wasn’t laying on any bad injured part of his body looking like his chest and back got the most attention, he put a pillow behind Dean to stop him from rolling onto his back.

“We’ll need to add stronger protection to the house in case Alistair decides to come after Dean” Cas said to Sam as they watched Dean sleep.

“Do you think he will?”

“I am not certain, but after what that demon said I don’t want to risk it” Castiel looked back at Dean “And I think it will make Dean feel safer if he knows Alistair can not get him here”

“Ok I’m sure Bobby wont mind you doing that and helping you with it”

“I don’t require his help” Castiel said looking back at Sam.

“No I know but it will help keep his mind off Dean if you could let him help” Sam said smiling at Castiel

“I see, you want to distract him from thinking of Dean”

“Yeah only if it’s only for an hour or so”

“I understand, I will ask for his assistance with the task”

“Thanks Cas”

Castiel took one more look at Dean asleep on the bed then left the room leaving Sam to watch over his brother while he slept.

It had been two hours and Sam wondered down stairs to see how Castiel and Bobby were getting on with the protection signals for the house. He found Bobby and Castiel at Bobby’s desk looking through books.

“Hey guys how’s it going?” Sam asked

“We have put stronger signals on the house and are looking for something to go on the boundary of the junkyard” Castiel replied not looking up. Bobby looked at Sam and shrugged his shoulders.

“How’s Dean”

“Still sleeping, he hasn’t moved”

“That’s good he needs the rest” Bobby says to Sam

“Yes he will recover quicker while sleeping” says Castiel looking up at Sam

“Yeah I know, he’s just so still, it’s not like him” Sam replied with a small smile.

Castile still looking at Sam “His body knows how injured it is and moving around would only make them worse”

“Yeah, suppose… Hey, why didn’t you tell me how injured he was” Sam asked Castiel

“Dean asked me not to”

“Didn’t mean you had too”

“Sam I promised I wouldn’t, and I couldn’t break that promise”

Sam just looked at him and nodded his head understanding how Dean could be. “So you need some help?”

“Yep pull up a chair” Bobby said to Sam while passing him a book.

“Why can’t we just use the same protection that’s on the house on the yard?”

“Because Sam, it would not work, the house is like a box we could protect all sides of it by placing signals on them, but the yard has the sky so we need something that would meet in the middle like an invisible net right over the top.” Castiel explained to Sam

“I see, is that even possible”

“I am not certain we need to research it further their may be something that we can combine to meet our needs” Castiel says looking back to his book in front of him.

After another hour Bobby makes his way to the kitchen to get something to drink and Sam following to have something to eat. Castiel was alone reading when suddenly the feeling of fear wash over him he looks up to the ceiling and disappears, reappearing in Dean’s room.

Dean making distressing noises having a night mare Castiel sits on the bed next to him.

“Dean,…Dean wake up”

He puts a hand on Dean’s shoulder and Dean jerks awake, eyes wide and breathing heavily he starts to thrash about in the bed.

Castiel scared Dean will rip his stitches on his back tries to restrain him. Cas knows Dean wont like it, after being tied down for so long but he cant risk Dean doing more damage to his body.

Cas holds his shoulders down on the bed and leans close to Dean like he did at the warehouse so all Dean can see is him.

“Shh Dean, Dean your alright your safe your at Bobby’s, Dean look at me”

Dean’s eyes are full of panic with tears rolling down his cheeks, his eyes are not focusing on anything with Dean still trapped in his nightmare.

Castiel leans down placing his forehead against Dean’s. Dean scrunches his eyes closed

“Shh Dean your ok, can you hear me Dean, please open your eyes and look at me it’s Cas, it’s just you and me, no one else is here Dean”

Dean’s breathing starts to slowdown and he’s stopped moving around.

“Please Dean open your eyes, your safe I promise, nothing is going to hurt you here, it’s just you and me”

Castiel speaking very calm and soft like you would a child and using his grace to sooth him, but Dean is responding and slowly he opens his eyes and locks straight on to Castiel’s eyes still with a bit of fear but he’s calming down so Castiel keeps talking to him and using his grace.

“There you are Dean, your alright nothing going to hurt you, your safe with me I promise Dean, I wont let anything happen to you, your alright your safe”

Dean’s eyes have calmed down and Castiel moves his head away so he’s not pressed so close and wanting to give Dean some room, but Dean moves his arms and grabs Castiel’s neck holding him close and his eyes have gone wide again with panic.

“It’s alright Dean, I wasn’t leaving, I’m staying right here”

Castiel stairs back at Dean giving him time to calm back down before he spoke again.

“Dean we need to roll you off your back is that alright, can you do that for me Dean”

Dean blinks a few times not breaking eye contact and not letting go of Cas.

Castiel trying to think of how to get Dean to roll off his back knowing the pain he must be feeling isn’t helping his state of mind at the moment.

Castiel moves so he’s laying next to Dean leaning over his chest trying not to move his face from where Dean is holding him

“Alright Dean, I need you to roll with me alright, can you do that for me”

Dean blinks again and nods slowly once.

“Good, that’s good Dean alright on three, we’ll roll together alright, just keep looking at me” Dean takes a few deep breathes “One…two…three…” Then Castiel slowly moves pulling Dean over by his shoulders so he rolls over landing on the pillow next to Dean making sure not to loose eye contact, Dean sucks in a deep breath and slams his eyes shut from the pain in his back as it came off the bed and Dean’s now laying on his side facing Cas, Castiel brings his hand up to cup Dean’s face and he slowly opens his eyes again this time the panics gone but they are filled with pain and sadness.

“Are you alright Dean?”

Dean focuses on Castiel’s eyes again and after a few minutes of silence he nodes and stares at Cas for another moment then his eyes flutter and droop closed and Dean slipping back into sleep.

Castiel stays on the bed until he’s sure Dean’s sleeping enough so he can move off the bed and not waking him he moves to the other side to check on Dean’s back pull the tape off gently that’s holding the bandage in place, seeing if any of the stitches have been pulled out if they have he’ll have to get Sam to replace them, but thankfully they look fine so Castiel replaces the bandage.

He walks back around the bed and pulls the chair up so he can be near Dean in case he dreams again and Castiel can wake him before it goes on to long.


	6. Chapter 6

 It has only been twenty minutes when Dean opens his eyes again he doesn’t move and just watches Castiel, he’s still sitting in the chair by his bed he has one of Bobby’s books he was reading down stairs in his lap he can feel Dean’s awake but doesn’t move or speak knowing Dean will when he’s ready.

A few more minuets pass then Dean asks “Where’s Sam?”

“He is down stairs with Bobby, there are looking into protecting the yard, we have already strengthen the house so it is safer and harder to get into”

“But not impossible” that’s when Castiel look’s at Dean.

“Nothing is impossible Dean, but I will know if someone tries to break them long before they succeed” Dean feels better knowing that and relaxes a little more.

“You don’t have to watch me all the time Cas, I’m sure you have other stuff to do”

“You had a panic attack after a nightmare a little while ago, I wanted to make sure you didn’t have another one while you slept” Castiel said and going back to read his book.

“O, I don’t remember that”

“I think you were still in a dream state and not fully aware”

Dean didn’t know what to say to that so he just lay still and kept quiet. There was a knock at the door and Sam entered.

“Hey guys, I brought some soup for Dean, do you think you can manage some” Sam asked looking at Dean,

“Are you kidding I haven’t eaten in day’s” he managed to push himself up and sit with his legs crossed so he didn’t have to lean on anything, it took him a few minutes to get into a position that didn’t hurt so much Sam placed the tray on the bed next to Dean so he could easily reach it and stood by the bed as Dean began to eat the soup slowly.

Castiel stood up and both men turned his way. “I will go and check the boundary of the property and the signals are all in order” and then he was gone Sam glanced at Dean and shrugged

“So how are you doing?”

Dean looked up at him then back to his bowl of soup. “Yeah, I’m fine, just a little saw and tired.”

They sat for a few minutes in silence Dean knowing what Sam was going to say before he said it.

“Do you want to talk about it” Sam asked glancing at Dean

“Nope” Dean said and placed his bowl on the tray he’d eaten a quarter of the soup

“You sure it might hel…”

“NO, Sam… just leave it alright”

“Ok, ok but the offers still there if you do” Dean glared at him. “Ok, alright I’m shutting up” Sam lifted up the tray from the bed

“Bitch”

“Jerk”

As Sam was leaving he asked if Dean wanted anything

“Beer”

“I’ll bring you some water up, get some more rest”

“Fine”

Sam closed the door behind him and Dean slid down slowly to lay on his side holding a pillow to his chest and took a slow breath trying not to let his mind wonder or think about what has happened during the last few days trying not to picture Alistair’s face as he slides his knife across his skin and him smiling at Dean trying to keep quiet and not scream a cool hand touched Dean’s head and Dean glanced up to see Castiel leaning over him with a puzzling look on his face.

“You need to rest Dean”

“Hmm” Dean replied to him and turned his face away to where he was looking before.

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No” Dean replied almost immediately.

Dean felt the bed dip when Castiel sat down behind him he leaned back against the head board with his legs behind Dean on the bed.

“Try to rest Dean, I will watch over you and wake you if you start to dream so do not worry and try to relax”

Dean felt Castiel running his fingers through his hair like he did in the Impala on the way back to Bobby’s and his body started to relax, his eyes started to drift slowly closed as he began to fall asleep feeling safe with Castiel behind him as he slept.

Castile was sitting with Dean for about half an hour when he heard footsteps coming up the stairs he knew it was Sam by the sound of his steps. Sam opened the door quietly and entered the room.

“Hello Sam”

“Hey Cas, how long has he been asleep”

“Thirty seven minutes and eighteen seconds”

Sam huffed a laugh and stood looking at his brother relaxed in his sleep and noticing Castiel stroking his hair.

“Cas, can I ask you something” Cas looked at Sam

“Of course Sam”

“Earlier when we were down stairs and you suddenly disappeared, you came up here, to Dean?”

“Yes Sam, I felt Dean’s fear while he was dreaming” Sam nodded still looking at Dean

“So something was wrong with Dean, and you felt it, like you did when he was being tortured and you felt his pain”

“Yes”

“Will you always be able to do that now?”

“I may have strengthened the bond that was there when I connected to his soul to find him”

“What do you mean strengthened?”

“I’m not certain how to describe it, but when I felt his pain when Alistair had him it was a stronger feeling and that’s how I felt it, but earlier” Cas looked down at Dean “When you left him and went back down stairs he became anchous and his mind wandered, I felt it and came to cheek on him, he was thinking about Alistair and what had happened. I sensed that small emotion just as I did the stronger one”

“And that ever happened before?”

“No, it has not” Cas answered looking back at Sam.

“Well, maybe it will be a good thing, I’ll go see how Bobby’s doing, we are still looking for a way to find Alistair we may come across something”

“Do you require my assistance?”

Sam turned back to Dean “You can sense when he starts to have a nightmare?”

“Yes”

“Then you better stay here with him, I can bring you some books to read if you want?”

“Yes thank you Sam”

Sam glanced once more at Dean then left to get Cas some books. On the way Sam started to wonder if he should be concerned with what was happening between his brother and the angel he decided he may do some research about it when he has time thinking it maybe a good thing knowing how Dean is with expressing himself and maybe it would help Dean talk through what happened and help him deal with it Sam entered the study where Bobby was sitting at his desk.

“Hey boy, Dean doing alright?”

“He’s sleeping, Cas is with him I’m gona take some books up to him”

“I thought you would want to stay with him?”

“Yeah I do, but Dean started having a nightmare earlier and Cas sensed it happening and could wake him I thought it would be best if he stayed with Dean in case he had another one and could be woken before he gets to deep. So I can help you down here, it doesn’t take two people to watch him sleep”

Bobby was watching him from under his cap “Right of course”

“How are you doing you found anything we can use?”

“Some bits and pieces of other spells and summoning we may be able to adapt but nothing persivic to connect to Alistair. When I have something together I’ll run it by feathers and hopefully he’ll be able to add something to connect it to one demon or one as powerful as Alistair, I need to go throw a few more books first”

“Ok, I’ll just run these books up to case and be right back”

Sam picked up a pile of books they haven’t read yet and went back up to give them to Castiel. Bobby watched him leave with a feeling something wasn’t quiet right usually you would have to tare the boys apart if one was injured the other refused to leave his side. Bobby decided to keep a closer eye on Sam and went back to reading his book.


	7. Chapter 7

It was a good four hours they continued reading taking breaks now and then, Sam checking on Dean and Cas, Cas had only stopped Dean’s twice from dreaming while he slept, Bobby would stop to answer his phones and helping other hunters, he also phoned a few people and got some information he needed a fellow hunter had some older book on demon summering and said Bobby could borrow them, so he went off to collect them he would be gone a few hours at least to pick up the books and return.

Sam carried on looking through books and the internet making notes.

Upstairs Dean was slowly waking up he felt num and a slow heat moving throw his body, he could feel the weight of a hand on his head and one on his stomach, he also realized he was laying on his back and that they was no pain.

He blinked his eyes open to see Cas kneeling on the floor beside the bed he had his eyes closed and a small frown in concentration.

“Cas?” Dean asked quietly

“Shh” Cas replied

“Cas what are you doing?”

Castiel shushed him again and Dean closed his mouth and laid there having a closer look at Castiel and noticed how his face was flushed he also had small beads of sweat along his hair line and noticed small tremors alone his arms and he was breathing quicker which was not right for the angel.

“Cas?” Dean said again Cas sensed his worry and tried to reassure him.

“It’s alright Dean, I’m fine”

“You don’t look fine, what are you doing?”

“I’m using part of my grace to speed up you recovery”

“What? No you cant do that, it will make you weaker”

“Only for a short time, I will recover”

“No, Cas stop it… please”

Cas opened his eyes and looked down at Dean his eyes looked tired and dull.

“I don’t like seeing you in pain Dean, you have had more than enough in your life time already”

Dean raised his hand and placed it on top of Cas’ on his stomach.

“You've  have done enough”

There stared at each other for a few minutes then slowly Cas withdrew his grace and removed his hand on Dean’s head but kept his other one still with Dean’s hand on.

“Thanks Cas”

Cas gave a small smile and stood up he swayed and nearly lost his balance Dean grabbed hold of his arm and made him sit down on the bed.

“You ok, Cas”

“Yes just got a little dizzy when I stood up”

“Here” Dean moved over a little on the bed “You should lay down”

Cas did what Dean told him and laid next to him.

“You know you look like crap” Dean told Cas with a smile

“Thank you Dean that’s most kind of you”

Dean chuckled and rested back on the bed.

“How do you feel?” Cas asked turning towards Dean. Dean thought for a second

“Actually I feel better it’s nice to be able to lie on my back”

“It’s no longer in pain?”

“No just like an ache much better then before, thanks”

“You are welcome Dean, I‘m glad it worked”

“So you weren’t sure it would?” Dean turned to Cas with a puzzled look.

“I was not sure I had enough strength or grace left for healing it takes a lot more out of you”

“Cas I wish you wouldn’t keep using up your energy for me”

“I will recover Dean”

“That’s not the point, you shouldn’t have to do it”

“Well then I suggest you stop getting into trouble so I don’t have to”

“Ha, ha, very funny”

“I thought so”

Just then Sam entered holding a plate with a sandwich on Dean smiled up at him

“Sammy, your awesome”

Dean sat up and took the plate from Sam “You look much better, how are you feeling?”

“Yep, pretty good thanks to Cas and a little healing help”

Sam looked over to Cas who was still laying on the bed “Are you ok Cas?”

“Yes, just tired I will be fine after I recover my strength”

Sam filled them in about what they have found and where Bobby had gone to get the books he needed.

Cas made some suggestions to what Sam had in his notes and told him what he had found in his books he had read while Dean was sleeping.

Dean sat and eat his sandwich while listening to them talking. There heard Bobby return and Sam went down to meet him and help with the books and started to go throw them.

When Dean woke up the next morning he was alone in his room, he could hear Bobby down stairs cluttering around in the kitchen making breakfast, the aroma of bacon and sausages making it’s way up stairs to him, he decided to make his way down, sick of being in bed.

Dean got up slowly he had on loose jogging bottoms on and slipped into a fleece jacket and done it up before leaving his room and made his way slowly down stairs.

He had some pain when moving from the nearly healed cuts and other injuries he got, thanks to Alistair, Dean shook his head, he’s not gona think about that (thank you very much).

He continued down stairs and could feel the pull of his skin when he moved from the nearly healed cuts and his mussels still saw from being kept in the same position for so long, by the time he made it to the kitchen he was breathing heavily with a light sheen of sweat over his face Sam turned to him when he entered.

“Jesus, Dean” Sam went to him and reached out for his arm “Are you alright?”

Dean leaned into him and Sam helped him sit at the table.

“Yeah Sammy I’m alright” Dean took a few deep breaths “Didn’t know that would take it out of me so much, I only walked down stairs”

Dean closed his eyes and lent forward on the table with his arms folded in front of him and rested his head on them.

“Your body’s still recovering, you should be laying down resting” Sam told him

“Yeah well I was bored, and smelt breakfast, can’t resist Bobby’s cooking”

Dean looked towards Bobby with a smile on his face and Bobby huffed and rolled his eyes and put a plate of food in front of him “Idjit boy, you sure your ready for that?”

Dean looked up at Bobby

“What, you think I’m gona have oatmeal when there’s bacon, sausages and eggs in front of me” Dean picked up his fork and started to eat Bobby turned back to the stove and made up a plate for Sam

“Thanks Bobby” Sam said when Bobby handed his plate to him, he turned to Dean

“Just eat slowly Dean, ok” Dean rolled his eyes and nodded.

He ate about half of what Bobby put on his plate and relaxed in his chair while he finished off his coffee.

“Where did Cas go?” Dean asked when every body had finished eating.

“He’s out side checking the signals around the perimeter” Bobby said “We managed to protect the yard, put up protection early this morning while it was still dark so we could see it working better”

“It was awesome Dean you should have seen it, it covered the yard like a dome then faded, it was real pretty” Dean laughed at Sam

“So I can go outside now it‘s safe”

“Yeah sure Cas is checking how’s it’s holding up, but he didn’t see any problems with it and it should hold out even the most powerful demon, hopefully” Sam said

”But your not a 100% sure?”

“Your not a 100% sour about anything like this boy, we took bits and pieces from different protection spells and put them together to make one, no one has done that before as far as I know, so we’re not sure if it will hold or what it will keep out, but Cas seems confident about it, so that’s something” Bobby turned and started to clean up, it made Dean relax knowing that Cas was sure about the protection on the yard he got up slowly from the table and made his way to the door.

“Dean, where you going?” Sam asked with a touch of worry in his voice

“Just on the porch, don’t worry I’ll be fine”

Sam nodded and looked at Bobby when the door closed behind Dean.

“You keep doing that he’ll snap at you before long”

“Can’t help it Bobby, he’s my brother, I’m worried about him”

“You know what he’s like Sam, he like’s to deal with things in his own time, there’s no point pushing him, he’ll just get riled up and push you further away”

“Yeah I know Bobby, but it doesn’t stop me from worrying”

“I know boy, me neither, I think he feels better with his angel around more, feels safer maybe, he seems to talk more to Cas”

“Yeah, I wish he would talk to me more instead”

“You know as well as I do he has trouble talking about stuff like this and what’s happened to him, so if he feels better talking to Castiel I’m glad of it, and I don’t even know what I would say to him anyway, after being tortured for nearly a week and it was someone who was with him for 40 years in hell and wants to take him back down there” Bobby takes a deep breath and shakes his head “I have no idea what to say about that, so if he is talking about it with Cas, just be glad he’s talking to someone and not bottling it up like he usually does.”

“Yeah your right” Sam gets up from the table to leave.

“Where you going”

“I remember I wanted to research something”

“You want help?”

“No I’m ok thanks Bobby”

“Alright, I’m going back to the books I got yesterday”

“OK I’ll come help you in a bit” They both made there way to Bobby’s library Bobby sat at his desk and Sam the couch with his lap top.


	8. Chapter 8

 Dean was sitting on the steps leading up to the porch enjoying being out of the house and in the sun and fresh air. Dean looked up to see Castiel walking towards him from across the yard. Stopping in front of him.

“Hello Dean”

“Hey Cas, how’s every thing looking?”

“Fine, the signals are holding and all seems to be working well together” Castile was looking across the yard while speaking then letting his eyes land on Dean. “How are you feeling today Dean?”

Dean looked at him with a smile and told him he was feeling much better then before and was enjoying the fresh air. Castiel sat next to him both looking across the yard in comfortable silence, they sat there for a while together until Sam came out to join them handing Dean a bottle of water

“What, no beer?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, not just yet” Sam said sitting down on the other side of Dean. They sat outside for a while talking about the research they have been doing and Sam filling in Dean about what he and Bobby had been reading about in the books they got from Bobby’s friend. There were talking quietly together when Castiel suddenly stopped talking and looked towards the entrance of the yard.

“Cas, what is it?” Dean asked, Cas stood up not taking his eyes of the gate

“Sam stay with Dean”

Castile started walking towards the gates

“Cas, wait”

“Stay here Dean, near the house”

“Cas?”

Castile turned to Dean “Dean please stay here with Sam” he turned and carried on towards the gate.

As Castiel approached the gate he saw someone by the barrier it was a demon in a small man as his vessel squatting down on his legs and swaying from side to side but his eyes were fixed on Cas as he approached.

Cas stopped a few feet away from the man, and when the demon spoke he was careful and quiet like he wasn’t use to speaking.

“Great power, in this” he said and raised his hand to the barrier it shifted under his hand, he hissed and pulled his hand away, locking eyes with Castiel again still swaying from side to side like he couldn’t keep still.

Castiel stared back at him “You are a scavenger demon, what do you want here”

“Message, for masters PET” he spat out

“Who is your master?” Castiel asked

“Shhh, can’t say masters name”

“What is the massage?”

The demon smiled all teeth and replied “You not Pet, message for pet”

“I can pass the message onto him”

“You know Pet?”

“Yes”

“Master wont like that, said message only for Pet, he wont like, if I tell you message”

the demon seemed agitated by this, his eyes flicking over the floor and his breathing had quickened up

“Your master is Alistair”

When Castiel said this the demon froze and looked straight at Castiel again.

“And PET you are talking about is Dean, that is what Alistair calls Dean”

“Shouldn’t say his name”

“Give me the message” Castiel said in a hard firm voice

“NO!”

The demon shouted back his eyes fixed onto the house behind Castiel and he knew he was looking at Dean on the porch

“Message for Pet” The demon said and started to sway again, eyes not moving from the house where he was staring,

 

“This is bull”

Dean said as he watched Cas walk towards the gate.

“Can you see anything?” Dean asked Sam

“No, I don’t think so, I’m not sure” Sam turned towards the door and yelled “Bobby, get the guns”

After a few seconds Bobby appeared holding two shotguns

“What’s going on?” he passed one of the guns to Sam

“Hey, what about me?”

“You think you can handle the kick back on a shotgun, cuss I don’t think so son, here you can man the holly water” Bobby said and handed Dean a flask and turned to Sam

“So what’s going on?”

“Not sure yet” Sam answered him looking towards the gate and Castiel “Cas told us to stay here and walked towards the gate”

Bobby looked towards the gate “Ok then, here” Bobby handed Sam a pair of binoculars.

“Well what do you see?” asked Dean

“Yep, there’s someone there squatting down moving from side to side, like, I don’t know like it’s frightened or agitated or something”

“Here, let me look” Dean said holding out his hand for the binoculars he stepped down and walked to the end of the porch so he could see better around Cas

“You see it?” Sam asked

“Yeah, weird”

“What?”

“The way it’s moving”

“what about the way it’s moving?” asked Bobby

“I don’t know, it seems familiar to me somehow”

“What do you mean familiar?” asked Sam

“Like I know it from somewhere, I’m not su… son of a bitch” Dean said and started to walk towards the gate.

“Dean wait, what is it?” Sam called after him

“Balls” Bobby said and followed the boys

As Dean got closer to the gate the demon smiled

“Hello, Pet”

Dean narrowed his eyes towards the demon.

“What the hell are you doing here, and my name is Dean”

“You know him?” Sam asked as he came to stand next to Dean

“Um, yeah, his names Benji he‘s Alistair’s little slave, ain‘t that right Benji”

The demon grinned at Dean

“You shouldn’t say masters name, you be punished”

“Hey, you cut that crap out, he’s not my master, and I can call him what ever I dame well please”

Dean said pointing his finger at the demon and raising his voice, Benji laughs at him and Dean took a step closer, Castiel placed his hand on Dean’s arm

“Dean”

Dean looked at him then back to Benji

“What do you want?”

“I have a message for Pet, from master”

“What is it?” Sam asked.

Benji’s eyes flicked to Sam when he spoke then straight back to Dean.

“Master said, he’ll give you one week, then time to come home” Dean froze. “Master, wait no longer, then come and get you, us, and take us home”

Dean stairs at the demon as the colour drained from his face and all he could hear was his blood pumping in his ears, he heard Cas’ deep voice

“You mean hell, hell’s not Dean’s home, his home is here”

Benji huffed and kept staring at Dean and Dean stared back in shock .

Sam stepped forward raising his gun “Ok you passed on the message, now leave”

“No, no, no,” Benji smiled not looking away from Dean “I must stay, wait for master, he told me too”

“He can not get though the barrier”

Castiel turned to look at Dean who was still staring at the demon.

“Dean”

He placed his hand on Dean’s shoulder and after a few seconds Dean looked at him

“We should go back inside” Dean looked back at Benji “Come Dean” Castiel said and pulled him around towards the house he kept hold of Dean’s arm until they were back in Bobby’s house and sat him down on the couch.

“You alright son” Bobby asked but Dean didn’t answer, just kept staring ahead. Bobby looked at Cas as Sam sat down on the coffee table in front of Dean and placed a hand on his knee, Dean jumped at the contact his eyes shifted to the hand then up to Sam’s face.

“What?”

“Are you alright?”

Dean looked at the others around him then back at Sam “Yeah, I’m fine” he took a few deep breaths “Sorry must have spaced out for a bit”

“We understand, don’t worry about it, are you back now?” Sam asked with a smile

“Yeah, course” Dean smiled back at him.

“So” Bobby said after a few minutes “What do we know about our new company out there”

“Nothing” Dean said not making eye contact with anyone.

“Dean’s right, he’s of no import, he’s a scavenger demon he barely has any powers”

“And he wont do anything without Alistair’s orders”

“Are you sure about that?” Sam asked Dean

“Yeah, Alistair’s his master he wont disobey him, it’s drummed into him after centuries of being with Alistair” Dean said staring at his hand in his lap

“What about you, you know him?”

“Yeah, he was around during my time down there” he huffed “He’s the only other being I saw apart from Alistair”

“Was he always with Alistair or did you see him alone”

“He was sometimes alone, but mostly with Alistair he just sat at the side out of the way and watched”

“Did he ever talk to you?”

“Why” Dean said getting annoyed “I don’t want to talk about this”

“But Dean”

“I said no Sam, drop it”

“Dean” Cas stepped in “Did you see Benji at the warehouse where Alistair kept you?”

Dean looked at Cas

“No, I never saw him there, why?”

“I wanted to know if he came up the same time as Alistair did or if he opened a gate to retrieve him“

“Is that important?” Asked Sam

“If he opened a gateway to hell we should be able to find an energy signature and find out where it was”

“Why would you want to know that”

“It would be helpful to know where Alistair came up and the gate he’ll use to go back also we can check if any thing else came through”

Everyone turned to look at Cas

“Is that possible?” Dean asked a look of worry on his face

“He opened it once to get the scavenger demon, he can do it again”

“Ok” said Bobby “I’ll check local weather reports, Sam you get on the computer and see if there’s any strange occurrences, Cas why don’t you and Dean check the protection on the house then meet back with us and go from there.

“Very well”

Bobby and Sam went off to the library, Sam got on his computer and Bobby got out maps and started to make phone calls. Cas turned to Dean who was once again staring at his hands. Cas sat on the coffee table in front of Dean like Sam did before and placed his hand on top of Dean’s which was clasped on his lap, like before Dean jumped from the contact and closed his eyes breathing deeply.

“Dean”

Dean slowly opened his eyes and looked at Cas

“I will not allow him to take you, I give you my word, I will do every thing in my power to protect you”

Dean ran his hand over his face and smiled at Cas.

“Can you check the signals by your self Cas? I think I’ll go have a lay down”

“Of course Dean”

They both stood up Dean swayed a little and Cas steadied him.

“Do you require assistance up stairs”

“No I’ll be fine Cas, just stood up a bit fast”

“Of course”

Dean glanced at him with a smile then made his way to the stairs Cas watched him go then went out side to complete his task.


	9. Chapter 9

 Dean was upstairs, he was going to try and rest after the message he got from Alistair, thanks to Benji. When he got to his room he found himself drawn to the window and staring down the drive towards where the demon was sitting Dean could just make him out and seeing the movement as the demon swayed from side to side. That was the movement that Dean recognized and made him remember the demon. He would sit for hours in Dean’s room while Alistair played with him over and over Dean would stair at him trying to take his mind away from the pain and concentrating on his movements instead of Alistair knife.

Alistair would make Benji clean up after his day with Dean he hated seeing the demon covered in his blood and Alistair knew it, he could just wave his hand and make it all disappear but he didn’t. He enjoyed watching the blood drip from Dean’s body and onto Benji while he was under the rack trying to clean it up. When he got board he would dismiss the demon and leave Dean alone sometimes he would fix his body but most of the time just leaving him in pain as he was until he came back a few hours later to start again.

Dean was lost in memories of torture, blood and Alistair that he didn’t hear Sam enter the room Sam called his name a few times but Dean didn’t answer, as he approached him Dean was still facing the window so he had his back to Sam, as soon as Sam touched his shoulder to get his attention Dean jumped and span around leaping back and crashing into the wall next to the window yelling out from the pain he collapsed to the floor.

“Shit Dean, I’m sorry”

Sam tried to steady him by holding his shoulders but Dean panicked and was thrashing about with his memories of hell fresh in his mind he couldn’t separate what was happening now and what happened then.

“Don’t touch me, keep away from me you bastard”

“Dean? It’s me Sam it’s ok”

Sam pulled his arms away from his brother and kept talking to him but it just seemed to make him worse and Sam couldn’t get through to him. Dean had curled himself in a ball on his side under the window with his arms over his head so Sam couldn’t even see his face all he could hear was him pleading not to be touched.

“Don’t touch me please, don’t touch any more.. Please… Please… just leave me alone no more please.”

That’s all Dean kept saying over and over again Sam didn’t know what to do and tried to talk to him again. He made the mistake of putting his hand gently on his shoulder as soon as Dean felt the touch he made a high pitch whine and curled up even tighter. Sam pulled back quickly cussing himself. Realizing he wasn’t helping and Dean was just getting worse he turned to leave and get help, as he turned to the door Castiel appeared in front of him.

“What’s wrong?” he looked down to Dean “What happened?”

He walked over to Dean and knelt down next to him. Sam explained to Cas what happened and didn’t know what to do to help Dean.

“It’s alright Sam I’ll deal with Dean, you should leave”

“What? I’m not leaving Cas, not while he‘s like this”

“It will only make things worse if you are here Sam it will take Dean longer to come out of this with your presents”

“And why can you help him and I can’t” Sam replied sarcastically Cas stood and spun around to face Sam with a stern face.

“Because, Sam, I pulled Dean out of hell after his ordeal he didn’t know me before, so Alistair wouldn’t have used me against him, but he would have you and anyone else Dean was close too and cause him pain and more grief, so I am the best person to help him now while he is reliving memories of hell and you are making it worse”

“How am I making it worse?” Sam yelled shocked at Cas

“Because I am wasting time explaining it to you when I can be helping Dean who is trapped in a nightmare unable to get out by himself ”

Sam and Cas stared at each other eyes full of anger

“SAM”

Bobby was there standing by the door neither knowing how long he had been there.

“You idjit boy, what were you thinking” Bobby was saying as he dragged Sam from the room and down stairs.

Castiel closed the door and took a few deep breaths and turned back to Dean who was no better and still curled up in a tight ball on the floor pleading to be left alone. Cas sat on the floor in front of Dean talking quietly to him he placed his finger tips gently on Dean’s bear arm he had changed his fleece for a t shirt. Dean whined like before with Sam but Cas just moved his hand up his arm slowly then under his sleeve onto the scar of Cas’ hand print from when he pulled him out of hell.

As soon as his hand is in place he sent his grace to Dean and helped him calm. Dean had stopped making the whining noise but was still curled up not moving, Cas kept his hand on Dean’s arm he was running his fingers throw Dean’s hair it had helped calm him before, he was singing quietly an angel lullaby to Dean in enochian.

It took a good ten minutes for Dean to start calming down and another fifteen for his muscles to relax. He had fallen asleep on the floor, he was exhausted from the emotion rollercoaster he had just been through.

Cas lifted him carefully off the floor and placed him on the bed and tucked a blanket around him and laid down on the bed beside Dean still humming the tune he was singing to Dean a few moments ago.

Five hours later Dean started to wake he was laying on his side facing Cas who was still laying on the bed facing him his hand still on his hand print. Dean could feel Cas using his grace, feel the warm glow of it running though his body. Cas had his eyes closed and looked like he was asleep. Dean felt so vulnerable at the moment, he wasn’t sure why he felt this way but he shifted over a few inches so he was closer to Cas which made him feel a bit better so he moved even closer until he was almost touching Cas, a calming feeling went though his body and Dean’s eyes felt heavy and he fell back to sleep.

The next time he woke it was dark out side Cas was laying on his back and Dean had his head on his shoulder and his arms rapped around Cas middle. Cas still had his hand on his scar and his other arm raped around his back and his fingers going though Dean’s hair.

Dean knew he should be embarrassed and move away from Cas but he didn’t want to, he felt so safe at the moment with Cas’ arms around him and just wanted the feeling to last a little while longer he still felt vulnerable but didn’t know why.

“Cas what happened earlier?” he asked quietly the room was dark and Dean couldn’t see much a few shadows here and there but not much else he found it easier to talk in the dark.

“What do you remember Dean?”

“Not sure, I remember coming up stairs to rest I changed my shirt then… waking up here”

“I also remember singing, were you singing Cas?”

Cas’ chest shook like he was laughing which was kind of strange

“Yes Dean I was singing, it calmed you”

“Wow, I didn’t know you could sing”

“I’m an angel Dean, all angels can sing”

“Ok, so why were you singing to me then?”

“You were trapped in a partially bad memory after Sam left I tried to calm you”

“Wait, Sam was here” Dean lifter his head from Cas’ shoulder to look at him he could just see Cas’ face though the dark

“Yes”

“I think you better start from the beginning”

“As you wish”

Cas explained what had happened how he had felt Dean’s emotional state and came to him to find Sam already here panicking and how they argued and Bobby taking Sam down stairs then Cas trying to calm Dean down then placing him in bed after he fell asleep.

“Crap”

Dean let his head fall back to Cas’ shoulder

“It will be alright Dean”

“No I’m gona have to talk to Sam about it now”

“You don’t have to tell him any thing you don’t want to, what ever you feel comfortable will suffice”

“That’s not gona satisfy Sam he always wanted me to talk about this kind of stuff with him”

“He can’t make you Dean, I can be there with you if you wish in case he starts to push you to far”

“I think he’s already pissed that I speak to you more then him now, I don’t know why I find it easier to speak to you then my own brother”

“Maybe I listen more and don’t push you with talking about things your not ready to talk about. Also your always protecting Sam”

They laid there for a little while before Dean spoke again

“You were right, Alistair did use Sam down there in the pit, he used other people too Bobby, mum and dad but mostly Sam he knew that’s why I was down there, that I sold my soul for my brothers life and he would remind me of it every single second I was on his rack”

“I can’t go there again Cas, I won’t make it out a second time, I know I won‘t”

“Dean that will not happen I gave you my word”

“But what if you can’t stop it, what if he does take me back”

“Then I will fly into hell and bring you back”

“What if I’m broken again”

“I will fix you just like before”

Dean pushed closer to Cas

“You promise?”

“I give you my word Dean I will not let you go”

Cas tightened his arms around Dean and hummed his lullaby until Dean fell asleep, Cas softly whispers in Dean’s ear.

“I will not let you go, you belong to me not him and I will make sure he does not get his hands on you ever again, that I promise to you”


	10. Chapter 10

 When Dean woke again it was morning the sun was shinning through the window and he felt calm and relaxed, much better than he did earlier. He looked around the room there was no sign of Cas but it didn’t worry Dean, he knew he wasn’t far away. He got out of bed and went to the window he had a quick look out to where Benji was still sitting, Dean didn’t stay there too long and went to the bathroom to have a quick shower then get dressed. When he was ready he paused at his door knowing Sam was probly already up and down stairs he wasn’t sure what he was going to say to him, he took a deep breath and made his way down stairs. Sam was sitting on the couch with his lap top in his lap he looked up when Dean entered

“Hey”

Dean glanced at him and returned the greeting he continued to the kitchen not stopping as he passed Sam. Bobby was cooking breakfast and gave him a nod when he entered. Dean got himself a mug and filled it with coffee

“How you doing boy?” Bobby asked not taking his eyes off what he was doing.

“Yeah, I’m fine. You?”

“Not to bad, you up for something to eat?”

“You kidding I’m starving”

A comfortable silence went over the kitchen until Sam entered, Dean looked up from the coffee to Sam, Sam was staring at him.

“What?” Dean snapped

“Nothing just wondering how you were felling after yesterday”

Dean just looked at him but didn’t say anything to him, Bobby continued to prepare the food, not wanting part of this conversation, knowing it was a mistake to push Dean into talking when he wasn’t ready.

“You were in a pretty bad way yesterday”

“Yeah I know Cas filled me in”

“You don’t remember?”

“No, not all of it Cas said you were there sorry you had to see me like that”

“Dean it’s fine it’s not your fault, I just wanted to help but couldn’t”

“Yeah” Dean said looking away from Sam “Can we talk later Sam”

“I just wanted to help you, you were freaking out pretty badly and Castiel practaly throw me out of your room, Dean”

“Sam, I said we’ll talk later ok” Dean turned away from him

“Yeah sure, I guess you already talked to Cas about it”

“For fuck sake Sam”

“What, is it so bad to want to help your brother through a traumatic experience?”

Dean didn’t say a word he just marched straight past Sam and out the back door onto the porch, he gripped the railing trying to breath through his anger.

“You idjit” Bobby said to Sam

“What?”

“You never learn do you” he turned to look straight at Sam “You can’t push him like that when he’s not ready you just gona make it worse”

Sam looked a little sheepish and turned back to the living room trying to think of how he can make things better with Dean. Dean was sitting on the porch steps when Bobby came out with a plate of food for Dean he sat next to him and passed the plate over to him.

“You know he means well”

“Yeah I know”

they sat in silence while Dean eat when he had finished Bobby took his plate and stood up

“Are you coming back in?”

“No, I’m gona stay out here for a bit”

“Alright son, Cas is out here somewhere why don’t you go see if you can find him”

“Yeah maybe I will, thanks Bobby”

Bobby went back inside while Dean went for a walk around the yard trying to clear his head and avoiding going back inside for as long as he can. He strolled around a corner and could see Cas checking a signal, it made him smile a bit as he approached the angel

“Hello Dean”

“Hey Cas, everything ok?”

Cas stood and turned to Dean

“Yes everything is fine and holding well”

They stood in silence then Cas asked “Are you alright Dean? I felt you get angry a little while ago”

“Yeah I’m fine, it was just Sam he wanted to talk about last night”

“I see, you have not spoke to him yet?”

“I had just woken up and hadn’t even finished my coffee before he started asking questions, I just wanted him to wait until after breakfast to give me some time to think, is that such a bad thing to ask, but he wanted answers right then and there he couldn’t even wait until after breakfast”

“Well it’s after breakfast now, shall we go and talk to Sam?”

Dean gave Cas a smile

“Do I have to?”

“Yes, come on, I will come as well”

Dean knew it was silly and should tell Cas he could do it by himself, but he didn’t want to and felt better knowing Cas was going to be there as well.

“Thanks Cas”

“You are welcome Dean”

They both made there way back to the house and Dean was already dreading the conversation he was about to have. Sam was still sitting on the couch with his lap top pretending to research but really thinking about what happened with Dean yesterday and this morning he felt guilty about this morning and not leaving Dean alone when he was asked to. Bobby was right it was no good pushing Dean to talk, he had to take his own time and let him come to you , but Sam only wanted to help Dean and couldn’t understand why he could talk to Castiel, but not him he was Dean’s brother after all.

He heard the back door go and looked up from the screen to see Dean enter and Castiel behind him he went to the fridge and got out two beers asking Cas if he wanted one but the angel declined. Dean entered the living room got a chair and brought it over opposite Sam across from the coffee table, he passed a beer to Sam who took it but didn’t open it yet, Dean sat on the chair and opened his beer taking a few gulps, Cas was standing to one side of the room so he was present but not over crowding the brothers while they spoke. Sam looked between the two of them.

“What’s going on?”

Dean glanced at Sam

“I’m ready to talk, so ask your questions and I’ll try and answer them if I can”

“Really?”

Dean nodded and looked at his beer bottle

“Ok, Cas can you give us a minute”

“No Sam”

Sam looked shocked at Cas refusal to leave

“Why not?”

“Sam” Dean said “He stays”

Sam looked back at Dean and anger crossed his face as he asked

“What?”

“You want me to answer your questions, he stays”

“Why?”

“Because that’s the only way this talk will happen and when we finish we don’t talk about it again, that’s the deal, take it or leave it”

Dean stayed straight at Sam while he said that and Sam continued to stare back

“Fine”

“Good ask your questions”

“What happened yesterday?”

“I had a flashback”

“Of?”

“Hell”

“No kidding, any particular part?”

Dean shrugged

“Hells, hell, pain, blood, gore, blah blah blah, same old, same old” Dean answered waving his hand around and sipping his beer.

“So it was a flash back of being tortured?”

“Yeah, I guess” Dean rubbed his hand over the back of his neck “I didn’t really remember it”

“You don’t remember any of it?”

“No”

“You were pretty freaked man, I only touched your shoulder and you collapsed in fear, I tried to talk to you but it just made you worse”

“I’m sorry Sam, I really don’t remember”

“You don’t have to apologize Dean, I’m just trying to understand what happened….. Cas said I was making it worse because Alistair would have used me to hurt you more, is that right, did he?”

Dean stood up and walked across the room

“Dean, wait”

“I’m not leaving, I just need to move around” he glanced at Cas who was watching him, it made him feel a bit better

“Cas was right”

“How?”

 “How?, how what?” Dean looked back at Sam

“How did he use me?”

“Sam, I’m not giving you detailed explanations of what he did, I’m just not going there” Dean started pacing the room “He used your image, instead of himself, it wasn’t just you, he used other people as well”

“Who?”

“Sam” Dean said in a warning tone

“I want to know”

“Mum, Dad, Bobby, Ellen, Jo, people we know”

“But mostly me?”

“Yes, I was closest to you, so he thought it would cause the most pain”

Sam was looking at Dean when he turned towards him

“It wasn’t really that bad, I knew it wasn’t you but with all the pain it was kind of nice to see your face, I didn’t listen to what he said I would just look at image of my brother, it helped sometimes, I know it’s stupid and hard to understand”

“No, I think I do understand if I was in your place I would want to see you”

Dean hummed not liking the image of Sam in that situation, but understanding what he meant.

“So how do you know Benji?”

“What?”

that made Dean spin back to Sam

“Why are you asking about him?”

“Because I think you know him better than you say”

“No I don’t”

“O come on Dean, you said you would answer my questions”

“I already told you”

“Not all of it”

Dean had a far away look in his eyes like he was fading away somewhere lost in a memory

“He was Alistair’s slave, he did as he was told”

“But you were close?”

“No”

“Dean”

“NO Sam”

“I could tell by the way you looked at each other, there’s something more there”

“NO”

Dean’s hands begun to shake and his breathing quickened

“Dean”

“NO” Dean shouted then added quieter “He hates me”

“Why?”

“Sam that’s enough”

Cas said stepping forwards

“I want to know”

“Why?”

“Because he was looking out the window at the demon when he had his flashback”

Sam turned back to Dean

“He’s just a demon, he’s not important” Dean replied his voice low and staring at a fixed point

“That’s not true he must mean something to you to have triggered a flashback”

“NO!”

Dean yelled so loud it made Sam flinched, Dean span around and practically ran out of the room and up the stairs

“Dean!”

Sam called out to him and tried to follow but Castiel stepped in his way and blocked his path

“I think it is best you leave him be for the moment”

“You know best do you?”

Cas tipped his head to the side and continued to stair at Sam. Sam let out a breath and relaxed his shoulders.

“Yeah ok, I’m sorry”

“You don’t need to be, he is your brother and your worried about him, but pushing him will not help”

“Yeah so every one keeps saying”

“So why do you do it?”

“I can’t help it”

Sam runs his hands over his face and goes to sit down in his place again

“I want to help him, but every time I try I make it worse”

Cas comes to sit on Dean’s chair

“I find it helps him to just listen to Dean when he wants to talk not to ask to many questions so he doesn’t feel cornered or pressured into talking about things he does not want to or isn’t ready to”

“Yeah I know I ask to many questions”

“You have always been curious Sam, maybe it would be best to ask me your questions instead of Dean, I will try to answer them as best I can” he gave Sam a small smile

“Really?, thanks Cas”

“You are welcome Sam, I also wish to apologise to you for last night with Dean”

“O, no you don’t have to Cas, it seems you where right to send me out next time I’ll listen”

After a few minutes of silence Sam asked “Cas how did you calm him down before?”

Cas smiled again

“I cheated, I couldn’t reach him so I used my grace on him”

Sam sank to the back of the couch laughing

“I also sang to him”

“Really?…you sing?”

“That’s what Dean said, I am an angel, angels sing”

“And it worked?”

“Yes he fell asleep”

Sam laughs again and felt better for it. Cas stood to leave

“Hey, Cas, I’m sorry too for yelling at you, I guess I got jealous, you can always get through to Dean better then me, it is frustrating not being able to help him”

Cas stares at Sam not sure what to say to him

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m so glad you can, and that he lets you, I just wish he would let me sometimes”

“Give it time Sam, you help him in other ways”

“How?”

“By being you, treating him like normal so he can forget sometimes during the day and I can help during the night and help him sleep”

“Yeah,…yeah I can do that, just act normal like nothing happened, thanks Cas”

Cas gives him a nod

“You better go check on him, I sure he doesn’t want to see me yet”

“Very well Sam I will thank you”

“Sure, just acting normal right”

“Right”


	11. Chapter 11

 Cas went upstairs and knocked on the door before opening it, he didn’t want to just appear in Dean’s room and startle him. He watched Dean pace up and down the room in front of the window rubbing his hands together.

“Dean, can I come in?”

Dean didn’t answer or stop pacing so Cas entered the room, closed the door and walked nearer to Dean, not too close he tried to send his grace to Dean for comport but as soon as Dean felt it, he stopped and snapped at Cas.

“STOP THAT”

“I’m sorry, I wanted to comport you”

“Why don’t you sing to me then” Dean replied sarcastically

“I can sing to you if you wish Dean”

Dean looked at Cas in surprise, his shoulders slumped and he huffed out a laugh, all his tension drained out of his body and he went to sit on the end of the bed suddenly feeling very tired and drained.

“How’s Sam?”

“He is fine, I talked to him for a time”

Dean just nodded “Thanks Cas”

“Of course Dean”

Cas came to sit by Dean, they sat for a while, comfortable with each other company. Dean had rested his head on Cas’ shoulder, Cas could tell he was thinking about something he didn’t want to be thinking about, he wished he could take a quick look, but he knew Dean didn’t like him looking around his mind and he respected his wishes. Dean got up and walked over to the window.

“Dean?” Cas got up and went to stand next to Dean “Are you alright?”

Dean didn’t answer he just stared out of the window towards the gates where the demon sat.

“He was my first”

Cas glanced at the gate then back to Dean

“When I got off the rack” Dean took a deep breath “Alistair said I needed to train before I was allowed to torture souls” Dean stared out the window deep in thought “So Benji was the one I practiced on Alistair giving directions about the best way to do it, to course as much pain with little injury, every time Benji screamed Alistair would praise me, so I tried each day to make him scream louder” Dean stopped taking a few deep breaths.

“How long?”

“A long while we cant tell how long down there but I would get souls sent to me now and again not too many at first so Alistair made me still practice in between with Benji even when I had finished my training and was left alone with the souls I tortured I would still make Benji get up on the rack. I became what Alistair was to me his torturer he was just a demon I didn’t think much of it, I would use him right up until you came” Dean looks back at Cas who was still watching him “That’s why he hates me, and that’s what Sam picked up on” Dean glances back at the gate “But I couldn’t tell him that, I couldn’t tell him I enjoyed to torture the demon who now sits at my front gate, just waiting to take me home and to be punished”

“Dean!” Cas said firmly making Dean turn to him “ _That_ is not your home”

Dean’s eyes widened a little he hadn’t realized he called hell, home, he didn’t reply to Cas just turned again to look out the window, Cas put his hand on his elbow

“Come Dean I think you should rest”

Dean didn’t try and pull away from Cas and let him guide him towards the bed Cas made him lay down and pulled a thin blanket over him he walked around the bed.

“Cas” Dean spoke quietly he thought Cas was leaving, Cas looked at him and saw the small bit of worry on Dean’s face he gave him a small smile then removed his coat and jacket and laid on the bed as well, Dean scooted over so there shoulders were touching. Dean turned on his side and laid his hand on Cas’ upper arm. Cas had his hands clasped together over his chest.

“Sing to me Cas?”

Castiel smiled and turned to Dean. Dean was frowning and had sadness in his eyes.

“Close your eyes Dean”

Dean did and Cas started to sing quietly Dean snuggled closer and slowly drifted off to sleep. Cas stopped singing and was just humming the tune now, the frown had disappeared from Dean’s face and he was resting peacefully.

When Cas was positive Dean was deep in sleep he gently got off the bed and made his way outside stopping first to tell Sam, Dean was asleep. He headed straight for the front gate to where the demon sat still in the same manor as before, the demon watched Castiel approach him and stop on the other side of the barrier. There stared at each other for a few minutes until Cas asked

“If I ask you a question, are you allowed to answer?”

“Depends on the question” the demon hissed

“Do you want revenge on Dean Winchester?”

“My master wants him” “What about you?” The demon narrowed his eyes but kept quiet

“Dean told me what happened”

“What did ’pet’ tell you?”

“His name is Dean”

“Not to master”

“And what does your master call you?”

“Benji’s the name he gave me”

“So that’s not your original name?”

“No”

“What was it?”

“Don’t remember, been so long with master”

“Would you ever leave Alistair?”

There was something about this demon that made Cas curious. The demon’s eyes went wide and he quickly shakes his head

“Mustn’t ask questions like that”

Cas squatted down so he was eye level with the demon “Would you?”

“No can not”

“Why?”

“Master said”

“Master says a lot of things”

“It’s master, must obey”

“Did Dean obey?”

The demons eyes went from wide to narrow in a second

“Must obey”

“So when Dean did what he did to you he was obeying Alistair, he did not have a choice”

The demons eyes went from side to side in thought

“Dean did not want to hurt you, Alistair made him do it”

“No master cares for Benji”

“Why”

“Why?”

“Why does he care, he’s a demon, demons cant feel”

“I feel”

“What? “What do you feel?”

“I… I…”

**“CAS”**

Castile and Benji’s eyes both go to Sam who’s running towards them.

“Dean’s screaming, I cant wake him”

“Hmmm, master giving him a visit”

The demon had gone back to his original state before Cas had spoken with him

“What do you mean?” Cas asked Benji

“Master reminding ’pet’ of the fun he’ll have, when we go home” The demon grinned at them but didn’t say any thing else.

Sam and Cas made there way back towards the house as Cas got nearer he could feel Dean’s terror, he stopped and looked back at Benji who was still grinning at them.

“Cas? What is it”

“I need you to find any information you can about that demon”

“Why?”

“I should have been able to feel Dean’s dream but I couldn’t, till now, I think it was him blocking me somehow”

“But he’s just a scavenger demon they can’t do that”

“I don’t think he’s a normal demon, try to find anything you can, I’ll go and help Dean, also Sam his name hasn’t always been Benji, it’s what Alistair calls him”

“Ok, I’ll try to find out as much as I can”

Cas disappears to Dean’s room while Sam goes back inside to start his research, he wanted to go and help Dean but knew he should stay away at the moment and let Cas deal with Dean.      


	12. Chapter 12

As soon as Cas appeared in Dean’s room he could tell it wasn’t a normal dream Dean was in, the room was hotter, Dean was tossing and turning on the bed, his skin was bright red and he was sweating though the sheets. Castiel put his hand on Dean’s forehead and flinched from the heat coming off him.

“Dean can you hear me?”

Cas tried waking him up with no success, he decided to try and enter Dean’s dream being the only way to help him. Castiel removed his coat and jacket and placed one hand on Dean’s head and the other on his hand print on Dean’s shoulder, he concentrated on what he was doing. The heat coming off Dean even made Cas’ skin sweat. As he entered Dean’s mind everything became red and even hotter his ears were filled with screaming so loud it made Cas flinch. He looked around trying to find Dean, he could see two figures in the distance and decided to walk towards them.

As he got closer he could see Dean sitting on the floor with his knees brought up to his chest and his arms tightly around them, his whole was still and tense, not moving one inch, Alistair was kneeling in front of Dean petting roughly throw his hair, he was saying something to Dean which Cas couldn’t hear until he got nearer.

“There, there pet this is where you belong here with me, this is your home and soon I will bring you back, we’ll have so much fun together you and me, and I will never let you go again, you will be hidden better so no one will find you and take you away from me ever again, this is where you belong, pet”

“That’s not true”

Alistair’s head shot up and seemed surprised to see the angel there but quickly hid his reaction. “How did you get here?”

“Step away from Dean and leave his mind, NOW!”

“O, I don’t think so, give a demon one little job to do”

Alistair slowly stood up keeping eye contact with Castiel.

“Why are you here?”

“I thought I’d drop by and visit my favourite ‘pet’, remind him it’s soon time to come home”

“He is home, he’s not going any where with you”

“And how are you going to stop me?” he gives Cas an evil smirk

“I will find a way to kill you”

“I spent 40 years with him, and I will not leave here without him”

“You forget one thing”

“O yes, what’s that?”

“I was the one that pulled him out” Cas bent and grabbed Dean’s arm where his mark is and they were both instantly transported out of Dean’s mind

Dean sat up as soon as his eyes were open and saw Cas directly in front of him and grabbed hold of him so tightly he would have broken bones if Cas was human.

“Easy Dean I’ve got you, your awake, your alright”

Dean was shaking hard and breathing heavily

“I need to cool you down, you are still too hot” he tried to move back, but Dean just tightened his grip and wined.

“It’s alright, I’m not leaving you. I’m right here”

Dean’s phone was on the bedside table, Cas reached for it and found Sam’s number and pressed dial, Sam answered straight away

“Dean?”

“No Sam”

“Cas? Is everything ok”

“No I need your help quickly, can you bring ice up to Dean, I need to cool him down”

“Yeah sure I’ll be right up”

“Thank you Sam”

The call ended and Sam got the ice from Bobby’s freezer and rushed upstairs as soon as he enters the room the heat hit him

“Fuck, it’s like a furnace in here” he looked to where Dean was on the bed clinging to Cas.

“Quickly Sam , the ice”

Sam could see the sweat running off Dean and his muscles were tense and shaking, he put the ice down on the bed and rapped it in a couple of tea towels he brought with him. He handed one to Cas who placed it on the back of Dean’s neck and Sam ran the other up and down his back.

“Shit, he’s so hot, what happened?” Dean wined and turned his head away from Sam and berried his face in Cas’ neck.

“It was Alistair, he had Dean trapped unable to wake, I entered his mind and helped him out”

“Did you talk to Alistair?, what did he say?”

“Not now Sam, we must take care of Dean”

“Of course, sorry, the ice won’t be enough we need to get him in the shower”

“He’s not going to like that”

“Nope, Dean can you heart me it’s Sam”

Dean wined again and brought his knees up closer to him trying to curl in on himself, never letting his grip on Cas loosen.

“Um, I’ll get the shower ready, you try and get Dean in there”

“Thank you Sam”

“Sure, I’ll try and air the room while your in there and change the sheets those are soaked” Sam got up and left the room to prepare the shower.

The ice had already melted and Cas let the towel drop to the floor, Cas couldn’t see Dean’s face it was still berried in his neck.

“Dean, we need to get you in the shower, can you stand for me?” Dean’s arms were rapped around Cas’ shoulders and didn’t move when Cas tried to stand he pulled Dean with him, as soon as Dean’s feet touched the floor his legs buckled, Cas scooped him up in his arms

“It’s alright Dean I’ve got you” and walked to the door and throw to the bathroom. Sam gave a smile when he saw Cas carrying Dean.

“Still won’t let go hu”

“No”

“Showers all set up, looks like your getting wet too” Sam laughs “Do you need any help?”

“No thank you Sam, I should be fine”

Sam left the room and closed the door, Cas sat Dean down on the closed lid of the toilet he tried to remove Dean’s arm’s with no success

“Dean, we need to remove your clothes, I promise you wont be left along”

Dean still didn’t move Cas wasn’t even sure Dean could hear what he was saying. Cas just used his mojo and removed all there clothes except there boxers. Cas stood up with Dean supporting his weight a little better and moved them in to the shower. As soon as the water touched Dean he cried out and tried to move away but Cas held him firmly but gently.

“I’m sorry Dean, but I need to cool you down, you will feel better I promise”

Cas moved him forwards under the spray and moved his hands up and down his back whispering soothing words to Dean.

It took a good 15 minutes for Dean to start to relax, Cas could feel Dean blinking against his neck. Dean raised his head slowly and looked at Cas with a puzzled expression.

“Cas?”

Castiel pushed Dean’s hair away from his face “Yes Dean”

Dean lowered his head back to Cas’ shoulder

“I feel terrible” his voice sounded awful and quiet

“I know Dean, I’m sorry, I needed to cool you down it wont take much longer, your temperature has already gone down a little,”

There both stood under the spray for another 20 minutes “I think we can get out now, your temp has lowered enough”

Dean was coming back to himself slowly but still wouldn’t let go of Cas completely.

Cas turned the water off and opened the door to the shower a shiver went though Dean as the cold air entered, he stepped out with Cas and sat down on the toilet seat again. He wasn’t rapped around Cas like he was but had his hand gripped around Cas’ upper arm that Dean kept a tight hold of it.

Cas knelt down in front of Dean and grabbed a towel to wrap around him and used another for his hair.

Dean just stared at the wall behind Cas as Cas dried him off When he had finished he cupped Dean’s cheek with his hand “Dean?” Dean’s eyes slowly came to Cas’ “Are you alright”

Dean closed his eyes and leaned into Cas’ hand as tears began to fall, Cas could sense how sad Dean was and it broke his heart, he wrapped his arms around Dean and pulled him forwards, Cas ran a hand up and down his spine and one in his hair to comfort him as Dean sobbed quietly on his shoulder.


	13. Chapter 13

It had been over an hour and a half since Cas took Dean into the shower, Sam was starting to worry, he had aired out the room and changed the sheets on the bed he’d gotton Dean a glass of water thinking he may be dehydrated considering how hot he was. He decided to take Dean some dry clothes, he’d found a thin t-shirt, pyjama bottoms and some boxers and took them over to the bathroom, he knocked on the door and heard Cas tell Dean it was only Sam, Sam waited a few seconds until Cas told him to come in.

“Hey guys, I brought Dean some dry clothes”

Sam looked at Dean who looked a little better, his skin wasn’t so red and he looked cooler and wasn’t sweating. Dean looked withdrawn and a little nervous at Sam being there probly expecting lots of questions about what happened, but Sam had an arrangement with Cas not to ask, so he tried not to pry into anything Dean didn’t want to talk about, didn’t mean he couldn’t ask how he was he handed the clothes to Cas who was holding out his hands.

“We’ll be through shortly”

“O… ok sure” Sam left to wait in the bedroom.

Cas helped Dean dress he wasn’t quiet with it yet so wasn’t embarrassed at having Cas dress him, Dean still held onto Cas moving down to his forearm Dean glanced at Cas when they finished dressing Cas had mojoed his clothes back on with his shirt sleeves rolled up so not to dampen Dean’s touch it seemed to comfort him.

“Are you ready to leave?”

Dean gave a little nod and went to stand, he swayed a bit but Cas was there to steady him, Cas put an arm around his waist and lead him out of the bathroom he sat Dean down on the bed and sat beside him. Sam was there watching as Dean’s hand found Cas’ arm again, it made Sam smile a little “How you feeling Dean?” Dean looked to Sam and gave him a small smile and a nod and then let his eyes drift to the floor where they stayed. Sam looked at Cas with worried eyes, Cas gave him a shake of his head signalling Sam shouldn’t ask at the moment, Sam gave him a nod and picked up the water and sat on the other side of Dean, not too close making sure he doesn’t touch, not knowing how Dean would react “Here you should try and drink some” Sam held out the glass in front of Dean, Dean looked at it for a moment then reached up with a shaky hand and took it, Dean didn’t drink it he just held it in his hands. There sat there for a little while as the sun set outside Sam noticed Dean’s eyes start to droop

“Maybe you should try and rest Dean? You look shattered”

Dean had got tense the last thing he wanted was to sleep after Alistair’s invaded his dreams Cas placed his hand on top of Dean’s on his arm, Dean turned to Cas with scared eyes.

“Well I should go see how Bobby’s getting on, do you need any thing?”

“I don’t think so Sam, thank you” Cas said looking at Sam giving him a nod

“Ok then just let me know if you change your mind, I’ll come check on you later”

With that Sam left closing the door behind him.

“Alright Dean do you want to lie down and rest for a while?”

“Don’t want to sleep” Dean said quietly

“I know Dean, but Alistair cant get to you while I’m here”

“You were here last time”

Cas took the glass from Dean and placed in on the table “No I wasn’t, I had to check on something”

“You left me?”

“Yes I’m sorry Dean, if I had known Alistair could have gotton to you like that I would have never left you alone”

Dean was still for a while then said “It’s ok Cas you didn’t know, I’m not blaming you, I didn’t know he could do that either”

“I promise I wont leave you again while you sleep”

“I don’t want to sleep”

“I understand Dean maybe you could lay down and relax”

“I don’t want to sleep”

“No sleep just resting… come I’ll lay with you”

Cas laid down on the bed and patted the mattress beside him “Please Dean, just try, you look exhausted”

Dean hesitated but then laid down on his side looking at Cas he laid his hand back on Cas’ arm, Cas gave him a small smile and rested his hand on Dean’s

“Thank you Dean”

They lay there for a bit as Dean’s eyes got heaver and heaver suddenly he shoot up, it actually made Cas jump at the speed Dean moved.

“Dean?”

“I don’t want to sleep”

Cas thought for a minute trying to find a way to make Dean feel safe.

“How would you feel if I joined you in your dreams?”

Dean turned tired eyes towards Cas “What…what do you mean?”

“I can enter your dream monitor what you dream about, or if anyone tries to enter who shouldn’t, I can do that from out here too, but if you like, we can interact with each other if that would make you feel more relaxed and safe”

“Can you make me dream of certain things?”

“Certain places but not people”

“Ok Cas, can we go to the lake?” Dean laid back down looking at Cas “The one I was dreaming of fishing at”

“Yes Dean we can meet there”

Dean smiled “Ok Cas, that sounds good, but you can wake me anytime, right?”

“Yes Dean, when ever you want. You can also ask me to leave anytime you wish, alright”

“Ok thanks Cas”

“Alright Dean, now close your eyes and relax”

Dean did what Cas told him it took a while but just as he was dozing off he felt Cas slide his hand up his arm to his hand print on his shoulder as peace rushed though him the next moment he was sitting at the dock at the lake holding a fishing rod, he looked to his right and saw Cas sitting next to him dangling his feet over the side, Dean let out a sigh and closed his eyes relaxing under the sun with Cas by his side.

Dean woke slowly from his dream, he felt relaxed and safe, he opened his eyes to see Cas still lying next to him looking straight back at Dean

“Did you sleep alright, Dean?”

“Yeah, best sleep I’ve had in ages”

They both stayed there for a while looking at each other until Dean’s stomach rumbled. Cas smiled at Dean “We should get up and find you something to eat”

“I guess”

Dean didn’t really want to leave he felt safe here at the moment with Cas and now as soon as he got up he would loose that feeling. Castiel moved and sat up he seemed to know what Dean was thinking.

“Come on Dean, it will be fine”

Dean sat up and got dressed they made there way down stairs.

Sam had fallen asleep on the couch, he woke when he heard Dean and Cas enter. “Morning”

“Morning Sammy”

“Good morning Sam”

Dean stood there looking nervous not sure what to expect from Sam.

“I’ll make some coffee, do you want some? Dean? Cas?”

“No thank you Sam, but I’m sure Dean would like some”

Cas placed his hand on the small of Dean’s back, bringing him out of his thoughts

“What? Yeah coffee, love some”

“And maybe some food” Cas gave a smile to Dean

“Bobby saved you a plate from dinner last night, it’s in the fridge, shall I heat it up for you Dean”

Dean was staring off in thought again at the floor, Sam glanced a worried look at Cas

“That would be nice, don’t you think Dean?” Cas gave him a nudge

“What? O yeah thanks Sam, sorry”

They went to the kitchen Dean sat at the table as Sam got the coffee ready and Cas went to the fridge to retrieve the plate of food and handed it to Sam to heat up, Sam passed him the coffee for Dean as he took the plate to put in the microwave. He made himself a sandwich then passed Dean his when it had heated he sat down opposite him. They both ate in silence and when finished Sam took the plates and cleaned up Dean asked where Bobby was to uncomfortable with the silence any longer.

“His neighbour was having trouble with her car and asked Bobby to take a look”

“So what were you researching earlier?”

Sam looked at Cas not sure weather he wanted Dean to know

“I asked Sam to look into Benji”

“What, why?”

“Because he’s not a normal demon”

“What do you mean?”

Dean was giving Cas a worried look, but Cas know he didn’t want Sam to know the connection between him and the demon

“When Alistair was visiting you I didn’t sense it, at the time I was with Benji and I think it was him that was blocking me from you”

“Why were you talking to him?” Dean had passed over the information the demon had more power than he should

“I wanted to ask him some things”

“Like what?” Cas glanced quickly at Sam “Nothing important, I was just curious”

“About what?”Sam asked Cas realized he was getting deeper in this conversation than he wanted, he knew Dean didn’t want Sam knowing about Benji and he had to let Dean know to stop asking with out Sam hearing so he talked to Dean in his mind.

**_“Dean”_ **

Dean jumped in his chair from Cas’ voice in his head and looked towards the angel

“You ok?” Sam asked

“Yeah I’m fine”

**_“Sorry Dean it was the only way I know so Sam wont hear, I know you didn’t want to tell him but I was asking Benji about what we were talking about earlier, about your past with him, I was asking him if he would ever leave Alistair”_ **

“What?”

“Dean!” Dean looked at Sam “Sorry Sammy, I’ve got a head ache, you got any aspirin?”

“I think Bobby has some in his desk, I’ll go look”

“Thanks”

When Sam left the room Dean leaned towards Cas and asked “Why would you ask him that?”

“I wanted to see if he would answer my questions”

“ So you talked about me with him”

“Yes, I asked if he wanted revenge on you for what happened and the conversation went on to Alistair and I took a shot and asked if he would leave him, I don’t think he’s a normal demon Dean”

“Why? What would make you think that”

“He said he feels”

“Feels what?”

“Well that’s when Sam came out saying you were screaming and couldn’t wake you”

“So you never found out”

“No the conversation was Brocken and he went back inside himself”

“But you got through to him”

“I believe so”

“Do you think you can do it again?”

“I’m not sure if he would allow it, I caught him off guard last time, I didn’t think he realized what I was doing, when I asked him about his past with you”

“So you tricked him?” Dean said with a smile

“Yes” there both laugh a little as Sam entered and looked between them

“Ok what I miss?”

“Nothing important”

Sam handed Dean the aspirin

“Thanks, so what makes you think he’s not a normal demon”

“Because he blocked me from you and no scavenger demon can do that he has more power than he should”

“Cas can he do that when he wants?”

Cas hearing the small panic in Dean’s voice of being cut off from him

“No Dean I was very close to him when I got nearer the house I could feel you again”

Dean relaxed a bit “Good, I don’t like the thought of him doing that”

“So did you find any thing Sam?”

“Not really, just normal stuff about scavenger demons that we already knew, but nothing about a specific demon or a name of any”

“But if you don’t think he’s a scavenger demon from the beginning then he maybe somewhere else and under a different name”

“That’s going to be near impossible to find anything about him, Dean is there anything you can remember which may help us, you spent time with him”

“It wasn’t like a holiday camp Sam, we didn’t sit around chatting together”

“So what did you do together?”

Dean stared at Sam

“You gona start that again?”

“No, sorry”

They stood around in the silence for a time thinking what to do next

“I have a few contacts I could visit and see if they have ant thing that might help”

“What do you mean contacts”

“Some people that have helped me in the past with information”

“Humans?”

“Some but not all”

Sam and Dean look at each other

“Ok Cas, why don’t you go and see if you can get any information” says Sam Cas felt a small piece of fear from Dean and looked at him with a frown

“How long will it take?”

“I will be back before night”

Cas placed his hand on Dean’s shoulder “You will be fine Dean, I have my phone if you need me, all you have to do is call and I will come straight back” Cas squeezed his shoulder then vanished.

“Yeah sure”

Dean gave Sam a smile just as Bobby enters the kitchen “Hey, you fixed your girlfriends car?”

Dean’s smile widened at Bobby’s expression

“She aint my girlfriend, and there wasn’t anything wrong with her car except for the tank being empty and having to take her shopping then picking up gas on the way back”

Sam and Dean both laugh

“That’s the oldest trick in the book”

they all stayed in the kitchen joking about most of the afternoon. Bobby went to answer the phone and help out a hunter with some information. Sam got back on his computer, he was still following some leads he had found about Alistair try to find out as much information as he could, time was running out for Dean and they hadn’t found anything helpful in fact there haven’t found anything much on the demon which was strange they could usually find some helpful information it was like all information had been removed about Alistair, he was mentioned here and there when reading about other demons and he was the one who made them, being the best torturer in hell wasn’t that surprising at how many demons were made by his hand, but nothing about how to kill or even hurt or trap him it was just no help at all and they were getting desperate.


	14. Chapter 14

It was starting to get dark outside and Dean was starting to get worried, Cas had been gone most of the day with no word from him Dean could ring him but he felt he didn’t want to be a burden. He knew he was safe in Bobby’s house and Sam was here to, but it wasn’t the same as having Castiel there, he seemed to calm his soul like no one else could.

“You alright Dean?” Sam’s voice startled Dean out of his thoughts

“Yeah, I’m fine, how are you doping?”

“Not very well, can’t find anything that will help us to stop Alistair”

“Yeah, I wasn’t expecting you to find anything to be honest”

“Why do you say that?”

“Well he spends most of his time in hell he hasn’t been on earth much, and no one really knows how long he’s been around or how he became a demon in the first place”

Sam hadn’t really thought about that he wondered why Alistair was so obsessed with his brother he didn’t ask Dean about this but he might bring it up with Cas when he got back to see if the angel knew.

Sam made some coffee for himself and Dean then took some to Bobby who was still in his library reading.

“Here you go, coffee”

“Thanks Sam”

“How are you getting on?”

“No where fast, I’ve been though most of my books can’t find anything at all about Alistair”

“Yeah me neither, I just hope Cas comes up with something”

“He’s not back yet?”

“No not yet, been gone most of the day”

“How’s Dean?”

“He was doing ok earlier but now, he’s getting worried”

“How do you know?”

“He’s been wondering around the house for the last hour, I tried to get him involved on what I was doing but he wouldn’t settle, he sat for about 10 minutes, but that was it, he was up and pacing again”

“Well after Alistair’s attack on his dreams I’m not surprised”

“Yeah I know, he wont relax until Cas gets back”

“I’ll go keep him company perhaps get him to clean some weapons or work on a car”

“Yeah ok Bobby, thanks”

Bobby went off to find Dean and Sam settled down at his desk.

Dean was wondering around the house thinking about things he stopped beside the window in his room looking out at where Benji was and made the decision to talk to him, he wasn’t sure why but felt like he had to, so he went down stairs and left the house.

As he got near the gate Dean kicked over a wooden crate and sat down on it facing Benji. Benji just watched as Dean approached the gate and sat down in front of him.

“Hello ‘Pet’”

“Don’t start that shit, or should I call you what your master calls you?”

“Our master”

**“YOUR, MASTER”**

“What do you want?”

“Well you’ve been sitting out here for 4 day’s now I thought I would come say hi, you know just being neighbourly”

Benji just huffed and they sat there for a while in silence until Benji asked “So where has angel gone?”

“What’s it to you?”

“Ahh, did angel leave little Pet all alone” Benji smiled trying to goat a reaction from Dean

“Come over here and say that”

“Yes this is strong”

Benji lifted his hand and touched the barrier it shimmered like last time

“Keeps me out, what about master, hmmm, strong enough to keep him out… I wonder”

“It will keep him out”

“3 days, we’ll see wont we”

“Can I asks you something Benji?”

“Your angel asked that question”

“Why Benji, why does Alistair want me, he has enough souls to torture with out me there”

Benji’s shoulders slumped and he had a bit of a sad look around him.

“Don’t know Pet,… really don’t… sorry”

“Yeah… suppose it doesn’t matter, no way out of it… is there?”

“You asking?”

“Yeah I’m asking, do you know a way I can get out of it?”

“No”

“What about you Benji, don’t you ever want to find a way out?”

“No, been to long with master”

“How long?”

“Very long, older then your angel”

Dean was surprised by that

“Really older then Cas, wow, I didn’t know… what about before you were with Alistair?”

“Don’t remember”

“Do you remember how you got there?”

“No”

“You don’t remember anything?”

“No, why you asking?”

“Just curious, I guess”

“Hell makes you forget”

“I remember everything”

“You not there long”

“Hu, long enough”

“Do you remember angels coming”

“No that’s one thing I don’t remember”

“What about ’playtime’”

Dean looked up at Benji “With master… with ME” Benji’s face goes hard and scowls at Dean.

“I…I remember… I didn’t have a choice, I didn’t want to hurt you Benji, Alistair made me”

“Master not there every time”

Benji raised his hand and made a fist squeezing tightly, Dean gasped for breath and fell to his hands and knees, one hand came up to his chest, his chest was filled with pain and he was having a hard time breathing, throw gasping breaths he tried to get Benji to stop

“Please…Benji… Please stop”

“Arr…you in pain pet” Benji spat out at Dean

“I’m sorry… please”

Dean collapsed on the ground trying to pull air into his lungs he heard his name being called and recognised Bobby’s voice

“Dean, Dean what the hell did you do” Bobby yelled at the demon, Dean saw a flash of tan before he passed out from lack of oxygen .

Cas had arrived on the other side of the barrier and throw Benji across the road and away from Dean. “Bobby?”

“He’s ok, he’s breathing”

“Get him in the house, I’ll be there soon” he turned towards the demon as Bobby yelled for Sam who came running out.

“What the hell happened?”

“Just help me get him inside”

they both managed to pick Dean up and in side the house laying him on the couch.

Cas approached Benji

“What did you do to Dean?”

Benji was laying on the ground where the angel had thrown him a little shocked at the angels sudden appearance, he gave Cas a little giggle

“Just playing”

“Really how would your master feel if you broke his pet”

Castiel hated to refer to Dean as ‘pet’ but knew Benji would react to it

“Just playing” he said again in a harder tone “Master wont mind it as long as pet still breathing”

“He almost wasn’t, you nearly went to far”

“Made Benji angry”

“Why?”

Benji sat up and stared at the angel

“What were you talking about with Dean”

“Old times”

“Like what?”

Benji refused to answer any more questions and went back to where he had been sitting for the last 4 days. Castiel knew he wouldn’t get anything else from the demon and went inside the safe zone and to Dean.


	15. Chapter 15

As Cas entered Bobby’s living room he could see Dean was still unconscious with Bobby and Sam hovering around him.

“Cas what happened?” Sam asked the moment he saw Cas enter

“I’m not sure Sam”

“That demon attacked him somehow, when I went looking for Dean he was lying on the ground asking him to stop, what ever he was doing”

Cas had knelt beside Dean and placed a hand on his chest checking for injures.

Bobby and Sam were talking behind him as Dean woke up gasping for air and started chocking Cas helped him sit up.

“Easy Dean, just try and breath slowly”

Bobby had told Sam to get some water, he came back and handed it to Cas who helped Dean drink some, he got control of his breathing and laid back down closing his eyes, Cas placed the water down

“Dean are you alright?”

Dean didn’t open his eyes, just nodded

“Thank god” Sam said quietly

“Will some one please tell me what just happened” Bobby said loudly

“I believe we need to be more careful when interacting with Benji, he can’t penetrate the barrier but it seems his powers can , he managed to block me from Dean yesterday and now attacked Dean we need to stay a certain distance away from him”

“No kidding, and what were you doing out there anyway Dean?”

Sam asked a little annoyed, Dean opened his eyes and glared at Sam but settling on Cas.

“Just getting some fresh air”

Sam throw his arms in the air and stormed into the kitchen.

Cas looked at Bobby “Yeah, I’ll deal with that one” Bobby said pointing to where Sam had gone “You deal with this one” pointing to Dean then left the room.

“Are you in pain Dean?”

“Yeah, my chest still hurts, it felt like he was squeezing my lungs, I couldn’t breath”

“That’s exactly what he was doing, I managed to distract him while Bobby got you inside”

They both stayed there for a while they could hear Bobby and Sam talking in the kitchen. Dean looked at himself he was covered in dust and dirt from the ground

“I need another shower” he slowly sat up, he placed an arm across his saw chest while he stood, Cas helped him and they slowly made there way up stairs.

“Dean can I ask you a question?”

“Sure Cas, what is it?”

“Why did you go out side and talk to Benji?”

“O that”

they entered the bed room and Dean sat on the bed kicking his boots off

“I don’t know Cas, I felt like I needed to talk to him for some reason, maybe I felt guilty about what I had done and wanted to make amends”

“I take it didn’t work”

“Not so much, it was fine at first he was talking calmly, but then somehow we got on the topic of hell and he got angry then attacked”

Dean got a towel and went into the bathroom, he kept the door open so he could still hear Cas and got into the shower

“Dean do you remember what you were talking about before he attacked?”

“Playtime”

“Playtime?”

Dean realized Cas wouldn’t know what that meant

“O, um, playtime, it’s what Alistair called the time he spent with us, when he tortured me”

“O, I see, I’m sorry Dean, I didn’t know”

“It’s ok Cas I didn’t expect you to”

Dean finished off in the shower and got dressed in his night clothes. Cas was looking out of the window as Dean came back into the room and stood next to him looking out to where Benji was.

“He knew you weren’t here” Dean turned to Cas “He knew you had left, he asked where you had gone”

Cas looked a little puzzled by this, he was surprised the demon could tell he wasn’t here “He is defiantly not a normal scavenger demon”

“He also said he was older then you”

Dean walked over and sat on the bed

“How old are you Cas?”

Cas turned to Dean with a smile

“I’m older then man”

“Wow, that old hu”

“Older Dean”

Dean smiled back and shuffled down the bed so he was laying down he watched Cas remove his coats and shoes then came around to lay down facing Dean, Dean turned on his right side looking at Cas

“Do you wish for me to come or to just help you sleep”

“No you can come Cas, your always welcome in my dreams”

“Alright then, the lake? Or do you wish to go somewhere else”

“No the lakes fine”

“Alright Dean close your eyes”

Dean closed his eyes and felt Cas’ hand slide on his to his mark the next moment he was sitting on the dock with his feet dangling in the water with Cas by his side, he wished all his dreams were this peaceful and had Cas by his side every time he slept.

Dean had been awake for about 15 minutes just looking at Cas next to him still resting, he knew he wasn’t asleep and that angels don’t sleep but he looked peaceful, until he suddenly sat up so fast it made Dean jump out of his skin.

“Shit Cas, you ok?”

“Yes Dean, I’m fine, sorry did I wake you?”

“No I was already awake”

Dean sat up next to him “What’s going on Cas?”

“Nothing Dean, everything’s fine, I need to go and check on something, I will be back soon”

“Wo, hang on, you can’t just suddenly wake up like that then disappear with out saying anything about why”

“I’m sorry, I remembered I had to meet one of my contacts at 9 and I’m late”

“Is that all?”

“Yes, please trust me Dean, I would tell you if it’s important, I promise”

“Yeah I do trust you Cas, you more then anyone”

They both get up Cas goes off to meet his contact and Dean showers and goes down stairs.

Cas appears outside next to Benji, “I need to speak to Alistair, can you get a message to him?”

“Could do, don’t know if master wants to talk to angel”

“Well you can ask him and find out”

the demon just looks at the angel

“If he agrees to meet me, I will be at the warehouse where he held Dean in an hour”

“I will tell him”

Cas doesn’t see Benji’s evil smirk as he disappears. Castile appears at the warehouse he makes sure its still abandon and no one is around and waits for Alistair.

He checks on Dean though their connection and find him calm and relaxed.

An hour had gone by and Alistair appears across the room from Castiel he looks around the room making sure it’s only Castiel in the room.

“So my demon tells me you want a chat”

“Yes thank you for meeting with me”

“I must admit I was curious as to why, after our last meeting… how is my pet?”

Cas narrowed his eyes as he watched Alistair walk around the room”

“Dean has recovered and is well”

“Yes I’m sure, only 3 more days until he returns home, so what does my pets little angel want to talk about?”

“I want to know what it would take for you to leave Dean”

“Leave my pet?”

“Yes there must be something else you want more?”

“More to me then my pet, I‘m not sure, he is very precious to me…but maybe….” Alistair trails off.

Cas takes a steep closer to the demon “Maybe?”

“Yes maybe, if someone perhaps took his place”

“Took his place?”

“Yes instead of my pet, I took someone else”

“Like who?”

“Like a little angel perhaps”

Alistair turns to Cas with an evil smile

“But I don’t have a soul”

“That doesn’t matter none, I have had plenty of souls, but an angel down in hell, that hasn’t felt pain would be very fun indeed”

Alistair was moving closer to Cas as he spoke

“What do you say you want to save Dean?”

“What would I need to do?”

“I purpose a deal that you would agree to”

“And what would that be?”

“Well, lets see… you would agree to one year of earth time in hell with me and Dean Winchester would be left alone by me, I can not guarantee other demons, he is an hunter after all but it would not be by my interference I would leave him to his life”

“So you would have no contact with him for the rest of his life, if I agree to spend one year in hell”

“Yes one year up here, 120 years down there, also you will not be allowed to use your grace down there and you will keep in your human vessel”

“Will you give me time to think on it”

“I can give you 30 min if you like, one more thing once you agree to the deal we go straight away”

“Fine, then give me 30 min”

Cas disappeared and Alistair laughs loudly he had gotton what he wanted and his plan was now in motion, it was a shame he wasn’t taking Dean with him but the angel was so much better and he was going to have so much fun with him.


	16. Chapter 16

After 30 min Castiel appeared in front of Alistair

“I agree”

Alistair smiled at Castiel

“I knew you would, shall we seal it with a kiss”

“If we must”

“We must”

Alistair grabbed hold of Cas’ hair and forced him into a kiss after there broke apart Alistair waved his hand and Castiel disappeared.

Alistair transported himself to Bobby’s and appeared in his living room everyone shot up from where there were sitting

“How the hell did you get in here though the barrier?”

“Well Sam I’ll tell you it wasn’t easy, in fact it was quiet painful”

He moved and sat on the chair beside Bobby’s desk

“Now don’t worry I’m not here to cause trouble”

Sam had moved closer to Dean as did Bobby

“So why are you here?” Bobby asked

“I come barring good news, I’m leaving today”

“What we have 3 more days left you cant take him now”

“You miss understand Sam, I’m not taking Dean with me a deal has been made for his safety and I have excepted, I wanted to let you know you will not hear from me again and hopefully I will not have to return to this horrible place”

“A deal what deal?”

“That is no concern of yours Sam”

“It is to me, if a deal has been made for my freedom shouldn’t I know?”

“No Dean just be happy your staying here and someone cares enough about you to take your place and make a deal for your life”

“Cas”

Dean said quietly and looked at Alistair as the demon grinned back at him

“I must be going I only came to get my demon then I’m finally going home with a nice new toy to play with”

“Wait you can’t just take someone else instead of me, it was suppose to be me, no one else”

“Sorry Dean the deal has been made” And with that Alistair vanished.

Dean ran outside but Benji had already gone, he collapsed on his knees as Sam ran up behind him “We have to stop him, we have too..”

“I don’t know how Dean”

“We have to try everything we have… we…we…”

“Come on Dean lets go inside, we’ll think of something”

Sam helped him inside and sat him on the couch Dean was in shock and didn’t know what to do his mind was blank and he just stared across the room while Sam and Bobby talked to each other, Dean wasn’t listening to what there were saying.

It was a week after Alistair left, Dean was walking around like a zombie not sure what to do with himself Sam and Bobby were in and out of the house. Bobby would go off on hunts or helping other hunters, Sam would help if he could but stayed close to Dean to keep an eye on him. Sam would do research to see if he could find anything that would help Cas the only things he found out was that Alistair had returned to hell, which there already knew.

They were sitting in Bobby’s living room when they had a visitor he just appeared right in the middle of the room and started shouting

“What have you hairless apes done with my brother”

They didn’t notice the second man appear behind the first until he spoke

“Calm down Balthazar”

He stepped in front of him

“But I would like an answer to his question”

“Gabriel”

Sam said shocked to see the archangel in front of him

“Hello Sam” he turned his eyes to Dean “So where is Castiel?”

Dean blinked a few times at him “Hell, he’s in hell” Dean looking away and closed his eyes

“What?” Balthazar moved forward but Gabriel put up his hand to stop him

“How?”

Gabriel asked him but Dean didn’t answer so he turned to Sam

“How?”

“He made a deal”

“A deal?… for what?”

“For me”

Dean suddenly said Gabriel turned to him once more

“He went to hell instead of me” Dean looked at Gabriel with pleading eyes “Can you get him out?”

Gabriel shook his head

“ We need to find out what sort of deal he made, who did he make it with?”

“Alistair” Sam replied

“O, that’s great” Balthazar said and looked to Gabriel “How the hell are we going to find out about his deal with Alistair he’s in hell and doesn’t come to earth anymore”

“I may know someone”

“Who Gabriel?”

“An old friend, he owes me a favour it may take a while to find him”

“Well lets go then and find your friend”

“Wait” Dean shot to his feet “We’ll help”

Balthazar turns to him with a scowl “Don’t you think you have done enough?”

“Balthazar it was Castiel’s choice, don’t take your anger out on Dean” Gabriel turned to Dean “Dean there’s not much you can do at the moment until we find out what deal Castiel made for you, we will return when we find out”

With that both angel’s vanished and Dean sat back down feeling useless

“You ok Dean?”

“Yeah Sammy, I’m fine”

Sam looked at Bobby who shrugged at him.

Dean didn’t sleep that night and in the morning he went down stairs for some coffee he saw a letter on the table addressed to him, he frowned he didn’t get mail, he pours himself a cup of coffee and sits at the table to open the envelop inside is a hand written letter

                                              ** _Dear Dean_**

                                                          _I hope this letter finds you well,_

_I didn’t have time to explain to you what was about to happen,_

_I also knew you would not let me do this,_

_by now you know I have made a deal with Alistair for your safety,_

_please don’t be up set with me that I have done this,_

_I saw no other way out of this situation and I would not allow you to be taken by Alistair again,_

_I met with him and he gave me another option which I took._

_Please don’t blame yourself for my decision and I beg for you to forgive me Dean,_

_I have done this with my own free will and do not regret my decision_

_however I do regret not seeing you one last time to explain in person but I could not bring my self to._

_I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me Dean and remain my friend_

                                                                                                                                  _ **Castiel.**_

 

Dean folded the letter, put it back in the envelope and placed it in his pocket, he walked out side to a quiet part of the junk yard and broke down in sobs he couldn’t believe what Cas had done for him and felt so alone. He stayed there for a few hours getting himself under control then he’ll return to the house but for now he remained where he was.

It was three months before they heard back from Gabriel and that was by a demon appearing in Bobby’s living room.

Sam immediately attacked pulling out the demon knife and lunging towards the demon only for Gabriel to appear in front of him and grabbing Sam’s arm.

“Wow, easy Sam, he’s with me”

Sam stepped back and Dean came next to him

“Where the hell have you been, it’s been 3 months since you were here last”

“Well it wasn’t easy finding him, he doesn’t stay in one place for long you know”

“So _he’s_ your friend who’s going to help us”

The demon peeped around Gabriel “Hello cupcake”

“Shut it Crowley, and how the hell do you know an angel?” Dean asked

“Well we go way back and he’s the king of the cross roads, which means he is able to get hold of any contract which has been made”

Gabriel replied with a smiled

“You have Cas’ deal?” Dean said turning to Crowley

“Yes sweetheart, that I do” Dean glares at Crowley

“Now what” Sam asks

Gabriel moves to the coffee table next to Dean

“Crowley?”

Crowley was still staring at Dean

“Of course darling”

a rolled scroll appears in his hand and he moves to the table next to Gabriel and Sam comes to Dean’s other side.

Crowley unrolls the scroll on the table Dean holds down one side and Sam goes to do the same with the other side he reaches out but Gabriel grabs his hand

“No Sam don’t touch it”

“What? Why?”

“You see the writing it’s burned on the parchment”

“Yeah”

“That’s been sealed with hell fire if you touch it will burn you”

“But Dean’s touching it why isn’t it burning him?”

“He’s been to hell”

Crowley says smiling at Dean

“He’s been in control of hell fire before”

“What do you mean, in control of it?”

“That’s enough” Gabriel says studying the scroll in front of him as is Dean there both seam to be reading it

“Can you read that Dean?” Sam asks

“Yeah, why?”

“It’s in demon tongue cupcake”

Dean shot a look at Crowley

“Another perk of being in hell”

Dean huffed at Crowley and returned his attention to the scroll

“So what does it say?” Sam asks and Gabriel answers

“Normal stuff, Castiel agrees to go to hell instead of Dean, Dean is protected, Alistair cant touch him again”

Dean interrupts

“What does that mean”

he points to a paragraph which Gabriel reads then frowns

“It means he cant use his grace and he’s in his human vessel”

“Shit”

Dean leans back and rubs his hand over his face Gabriel turns to Crowley

“Is that a normal thing to agree to?”

Crowley shrugs

“There hasn’t been an angel in hell for century’s, maybe Alistair’s learned from that and included it”

Gabriel looks back at the scroll as Sam asks “How long?”

Dean sits up looking at Sam then back down at the parchment “I didn’t get that far, Gabriel?”

“One year, it’s down the bottom”

“One year” Dean repeated “That’s 120 years in hell, he’s already been gone for 3 months, what do we do now?”

Dean stands and starts to passes around the room as Gabriel asks “Crowley do you know where a door is I can use?”

“A door? A door into hell? You want to go to hell? Are you insane?”

“My little brother is down there, you think I’m going to leave him there?” Gabriel asks him in a hard voice

“Your crazy mate”

Gabriel is now passing around the room

“Can you find me a way in or not?”

“Give me an hour, I’ll see what I can do”

with that Crowley pick up Castiel’s contract and leaves.

“Now what do we do?”

“We wait for Crowley to return”

“And you trust him?” Sam asks Gabriel

“Yes I do”

“Why?”

“That my dear Sam is none of your business” Gabriel smiles at Sam.


	17. Chapter 17

Dean had snuck outside to get some fresh air, he had gotten Castiel’s letter out of his pocket, he always kept it with him, he knew it word for word, he doesn’t read it just holds it, Gabriel had come out and is standing behind him, Dean is sitting on the porch steps

“Wow your brother can ask questions, can’t he?”

“Yeah, Sammy is a curious one”

“So what does that make you?”

“The stupid one, I guess considering what’s happened”

“Ha ha”

Gabriel sits down next to Dean

“You know you could not have stopped him he’s very stubborn”

“Yeah”

he moved the letter around in his hands which draws Gabriel’s attention

“What you got there Dean?”

Dean clutches the letter tighter and looks down at it

“It’s… um a letter” Dean looks up at Gabriel “From Cas”

Gabriel looks straight back at Dean

“Really? May I read it?”

Dean looks down at the letter

“I’ll be very careful”

after a few min of thinking he hands the letter to Gabriel.

Gabriel opens it carefully there sit in silence while Gabriel reads it then hands it back to Dean

“He cares for you a great deal”

“Were friends”

“He’s right you know, you shouldn’t blame yourself”

“When was the last time you saw him Gabriel?”

“A few days before he disappeared”

“Really? He didn’t say”

“I help him out now and again”

“You’re his contact he goes to”

“Yes I am”

“Wow, I didn’t even think he was going to another angel”

“It’s just me and Balthazar, other angels have orders to kill him on sight”

“So why didn’t you?”

“He’s my little brother, we were close in heaven when he was a fledgling, I helped him grow and become a soldier. He was hurt when I left I wanted to take him with me, but it was dangerous at the time, but when he came to earth, I sort him out”

“Why?”

“I missed him”

Gabriel smiled and got up to go back inside, Dean followed him there just joined the others when Balthazar appeared

“I have the location to a door to hell”

“Excellent” said Gabriel “All we need now is to find a way we can locate Castiel once we are in”

“I want to come with you” Dean said to Gabriel

“No”

“Why not?” Dean asked Gabriel but Balthazar answered

“When Castiel went to hell for you he had a whole garrison with him and the power of heaven behind him, it’s just me and Gabriel there is no extra powers and no back up, we can’t take you as well”

“He saved me twice from Alistair and I can’t even help to save him once”

“Maybe you can”

Gabriel was staring at Dean’s left shoulder where Cas’ mark was, the room was quiet as Gabriel stared at Dean, Dean was starting to feel uncomfortable and turns his shoulder away from Gabriel, then suddenly he advances towards Dean, Dean’s eyes go wide as Gabriel walks directly to him then claps his hand down on top of Cas’ hand print and starts to glow.

Bobby and Sam cover there eyes as the hand print gets hotter and hotter as Gabriel gets brighter and brighter, Dean screams and the room starts to return to normal Gabriel lets go of Dean and he collapses to the floor.

“I know which part of hell Castiel’s in” he turns to Balthazar “Lets go” and just like that the two angels are gone.

Sam goes to Dean who’s sobbing on the floor

“Dean?”

Dean looks at Sam as he helps him to sit up and leans against Sam’s chest

“I saw him Sam”

“Saw who Dean?”

“Cas I saw where he was in hell, o god Sam, he’s in so much pain”

“It’s ok Dean, Gabriel will get him and bring him home we just have to wait”

Dean hangs onto Sam for a few min then tries to stand up, Sam helps him into a chair as Bobby approaches holding an ice pack, Dean looks puzzled at the ice

“It’s for your shoulder boy”

Dean looks to his arm and see’s the hand print inflamed from Gabriel’s touch

“Thanks”

Dean takes the ice and hisses when it touches his arm

“What did he do son, do you know?”

“No but I can guess”

“So?” Sam asks

“When Gabriel touched Cas’ mark I think he connected with mine and Cas’ bond, it was like flying showing us where to go and which part Cas was in there we saw him, and I felt him, o god”

Dean drops his head to his hand not holding the ice pack and starts to sob again, Bobby places a hand on his back

“Take it easy Dean, it’ll be ok just take deep breaths ok son” Sam had gone and got Dean some water.

They didn’t sleep that night Dean would walk around the house not stopping just kept moving if he stopped he would have to think about what was happening it wasn’t like he could stop thinking about Cas he had felt how much pain he had been in, he just really wanted Gabriel to return with Cas so he could keep him safe and away from that barstead.

It has been 4 months since Gabriel had left to get Cas, they hadn’t heard anything from them, they even tried summoning Crowley but he hadn’t heard anything either and said he would let them know if he did.

There would go on nearby hunts and made sure there were back at Bobby’s by dark. Dean would still wonder around the house Sam kept bringing him coffee, making sure he was ok.

Dean felt the moment Castiel was top side he had to support him self on the wall

“Dean, what’s wrong?”

“There coming, there back, there have Cas”

“What?, Where?, how do you know that?”

“I just do, come on they’ll be here soon”

Dean ran down the hall and into the living room

“Bobby there coming”

Just as Bobby was going to ask who four bodies appeared in front of them.

Gabriel held Castiel in his arms and Balthazar was a few steps behind him holding Benji by the arm

“What the hell is he doing here?” Sam asked from behind Dean,

Dean’s eyes were locked on an unconscious Cas, Gabriel stared at Dean then walked out of the room and up stairs to the bedroom, Dean followed close behind him.

Balthazar let go of Benji, who fell to the floor and scurried under the kitchen table and sat shaking

“Care to explain why there’s a demon under my table” Bobby asked Balthazar

“Well my dear Robert, Cassie wouldn’t leave without him held on to him tight when we were trying to get him off the rack he was on, so we gathered he wanted us to bring him as well that is the only reason he let go of him so we could release him, so here he is”

“That’s just great” Bobby answered back

“I need to strengthen the barrier, Alistair won’t be happy we took Castiel away from him”

“How is he?”

“Not sure, best to leave him to Gabriel for the moment he probly wont gain conscious for a few days”

“Do you need any help with the barrier?”

“No Sam, but you can keep an eye on him” Balthazar said pointing at Benji then disappearing

“Right, great” Sam said looking at Bobby who put up his hands.

Sam walked into the kitchen and sat down on the floor near the table

“You ok Benji?”

Benji just looked at Sam

“Why did Cas bring you with him?”

again Benji just stared back

“Do you want anything?”

after a few seconds “Ok, I’ll come check on you soon ok”

Sam got up and went back to Bobby

“I don’t like this, why would Cas want a demon with him?”

“I don’t know Bobby, but there always said he wasn’t a normal demon, maybe Cas found out something”

“Well if he did we wont be finding out anytime soon”

Sam glanced to the stairs wondering how there were doing with Castiel up stairs.


	18. Chapter 18

Gabriel gently placed Castiel down on the bed and stepped back they both just looked at Cas taking in the state of him. Gabriel had mojoed some loose jogging bottoms on him, he was shaking and thin, his skin was pail and looked like it was pulled over his body, his eyes had dark circles around them, he looked awful.

“Cas” Dean said quietly

Gabriel turned to him “I need your help Dean”

Dean frowned at him as Gabriel went over to Cas and turned him on his stomach.

“His wings need healing”

“His wings?”

“Yes I healed his injuries but his wings, I couldn’t touch”

“Why not?”

“Their burnt, with hell fire, if I touch them I’ll just make it worse”

“I thought your wings weren’t connected with your grace”

“Yes there are”

“But he wasn’t allowed to use his grace, how did there get burnt?”

“I think he was made to produce them before burying his grace, there would have stayed out, that’s the only thing I think of and how there would have got damaged”

“Shit”

Gabriel waved his arm and Dean gasped as Cas’ wings appeared, there were in even worse shape then his body, there were cuts and every feather synched, whole clumps were missing and looked like he had been dragged though a bush backwards.

“You should have seen them before Dean, there were magnificent a lot of angels envied him he was the fastest in the garrison, he loved to fly, he told me that was one of the reasons he was chosen to rescue you, he was so proud that he did”

Gabriel trailed off with a sigh.

“How can I help?”

“Right, I can’t touch them, but you can, I should be able to pass my grace though you to him”

Dean nodded at Gabriel and sat down next to Cas on the bed Gabriel did the same on the opposite side

“Ok place your hands on each wing”

Dean did as Gabriel told him and gently placed a hand on each wing there felt so hot and damaged.

Gabriel placed a hand on top of Dean’s and concentrated, Dean felt a tingle and Gabriel’s hands started to glow and started to spread over Cas;’ wings they slowly healed and looked better then before just as Gabriel was pulling back Castiel woke up in a panic, not knowing where he was his wings arched back knocking Dean an Gabriel both to the floor, Castiel was thrashing about and fell on the floor beside Dean

“Cas”

Cas kicks and struggles to get up Dean tries to help him

“Dean no, wait till he stops moving”

Dean listens to Gabriel and they watch as Cas moves quickly across the floor on his hands and knees and squashes himself in the corner with his arms and wings rapped tightly around himself so he couldn’t see out, and all Dean and Gabriel could see was a ball of feathers.

Dean looks at Gabriel who nodes back, Dean moves slowly towards Castiel

“Cas, Cas it’s Dean, can you hear me?”

the feathers tighten around him

“Cas your home, well at Bobby’s on earth, your free, no more hell… Cas?”

Dean moves closer and touches one of Cas’ wings it makes Cas jump but he doesn’t move so Dean continues he gently strokes his fingers down Cas’ feathers and starts to hum the lullaby Cas would sing to him, Dean doesn’t remember the words Cas used but he remembers the tune.

Cas slowly lowers his wing to peek over the top of them, it had taken a good twenty min to do so, but Dean was patient and waited for Cas to react to his touch, he looked at Dean then down at his hand on his wing then back to his face he had a strange expression on his face that Dean couldn’t explain

“Hi Cas, how you doing, you ok?”

Cas didn’t respond just kept looking at Dean, Dean looked at Gabriel who shrugged his shoulders, Cas followed where Dean was looking, he looked at Gabriel but went back to watching Dean.

“He must find you prettier” Gabriel laugh a little

“Shut up” he turned back to Cas “Ok, how about we get you back on the bed hey”

Dean went to stand and saw Cas tensed up and his eyes go wide

“Hey it’s ok, I’m not gona hurt you, your safe here with me”

Dean sat back down and waited for Cas to relax again, after a little while Cas fell asleep where he was Dean looked at Gabriel

“Should I try and move him?”

“You can try”

Dean crept closer and pushed Cas’ wing down to his side he didn’t wake so Dean continued he slid one arm under his knees and the other behind his back then lifted Cas up, he hardly weighed anything.

Dean walked over to the bed and laid him down, Gabriel covered him up carefully minding his wings

“Will he put them away?”

“When he’s stronger he will”

“Can’t you?”

“No, I can manifest them but not put them back”

“But there weren’t out when you got back”

“No when we left hell there disappeared, not sure why”

“Ok”

“He’ll sleep for a while now”

Castile did sleep, he slept 3 days straight, when Dean entered from his shower on the third day Cas had put his wings away, he had slept another two days before he woke he just laid there with his eyes open listening to the sounds around him.

Dean was laying on the bed beside him asleep, Cas was just looking at him he was trying to remember who he was, he looked familiar and made Cas relaxed with his presence, he said his name was Dean which was also familiar, if only he could remember more, he looked over Dean to the person sitting in the chair watching him, Gabriel, Dean had said his name was. He was smiling back at Cas.

“You don’t remember us do you?”

Castiel didn’t move

“Well you’re my little brother and I love you very much, Balthazar is our brother, he’s around here somewhere, that’s Dean he’s very close to you, you saved him from hell once, he has a brother, Sam, he’s down stairs with Bobby Singer, who’s house we are in at the moment, I went to hell and pulled you out, you are on earth, I need you to believe me Castiel, this is real, Alistair is not here and he can’t get into this house you are safe here like Dean said”

Gabriel sat back and watched as Cas thought about what he had said. He had gone back to staring at Dean, well some things don’t change Gabriel thought.

“Light in the darkness”

Castiel looked back at Gabriel as he spoke

“You know there’s a saying, that even in the darkest of places you can still find the smallest piece of light, and if you can find it you should hold onto it with all your might and it will lead you to safety and out of the dark”

Gabriel gave Cas a gentle smile

“I think Dean’s that light for you, you were Dean’s light in the darkness and now he is yours”

Gabriel leans over Dean closer to Cas and gently pushes his hair back from his face

“So you hang on to him Castiel, as tight as you can and he’ll lead you out of where ever you are, and don’t you let go until your sure you can, he’s your light in the darkness bro, so trust him to lead you out” With that Gabriel got up and left the room leaving Castiel and Dean alone together.

Cas returned his gaze to Dean, Cas didn’t feel sleepy anymore and looked slowly around the room he got up out of bed careful not to wake Dean, he walk around the room looking at every thing he really wanted to believe it was real and not another trick his master was playing on him it usually had the man in the bed with him but never had angels, and what was this word ‘cas‘ they kept saying, he walked over to the window and looked over the scrap yard to the cars pilled up here and there. He could see the front gate, he looked down to see a shiny black car which also looked familiar.

“That’s my baby”

Cas jumped as Dean’s voice came from behind him he shyly looked at him and taking a step back away from him.

Dean noticed the way he moved back but didn’t say anything he looked out the window to the Impala

“We use to drive around the country in her, me, you and Sam, we use to go on hunts together, do you remember?”

Dean looked back at Cas he was still wearing the jogging bottoms Gabriel put on him but he also was wearing one of Deans long sleeve top he had put on him, he hadn’t stopped shaking since he got back.

“Cas what’s with the shaking?”

Dean thought maybe he was scared but he didn’t seam scared, Dean thought about where Cas has been for the last seven months and how hot hell had been for Dean and realizing Cas hadn’t got use to being on earth yet.

“Your cold, of course you are, I’m sorry Cas, I didn’t think, come here sit on the bed I’ll find you something warmer to wear”

Cas moved and sat on the edge of the bed as Dean routed around he had a fleece hoody he had brought a few years back it was a little big on Dean but very soft and comfortable, and he knew it would keep Cas warm when he finally found it he returned to the bed where Cas was.

“Here Cas, this will make you feel better, it keeps me nice and warm, I’m going to put it on you ok?”

Dean waited a few seconds so Cas could get use to what he had in his hands, when Cas looked back at Dean, he lifted the jumper and popped it over Cas’ head then helped him with his arms and pulled it down it looked even bigger on Cas, but it would help keep him warm until he got use to the climate again.

“There, is that better?”

Cas ran his hand up his sleeve feeling the soft fabric and gave a small smile he glanced a look at Dean and tightened his arms around himself

“Look it even has a hood”

Dean puts the hood up and smiles at Cas

“Shall I put it down?”

Dean moved his hands to put it down but Cas moved back a bit

“Ok we’ll keep it up, you want to lay down have a rest you look tired?”

Cas looked back at the bed and moved to lay down on his side facing Dean. Dean covered him up and tucked him in Dean went to move away but Cas moved his hand to stop him but pulled it back before making contact

“You want me to stay? Ok I’ll sit right here”

Dean pulled the chair close to the bed and sat down he noticed Cas’ frown on his face, maybe he didn’t want Dean to stay

“What? What is it Cas?”

Dean ran a hand over his face and waited, Cas just laid there for a few seconds thinking, Dean waited patiently then Cas scooted back on the bed to make space next to him and looked to Dean and Dean suddenly got it

“You want me to lay on the bed with you?”

Dean looked for any sign from Cas

“Are you sure?”

Still nothing from Cas so Dean climbed on the bed next to him, a few min had passed then Cas moved a little closer, Dean kept still looking up at the ceiling as Cas moved a little closer still, in the end as Cas moved even closer, Dean lifted his arm and Cas snuggled closer and put his head on Dean’s chest he glanced at Dean just to make sure this was alright, Dean smiled at him and wrapped his arm around Cas’ back

“It’s alright Cas, your safe, I promise”

Cas frowned again looking at Dean

“what is it Cas?”

Cas pointed to him self

“What? You? Your Cas”

Cas raised his eyebrows at Dean

“O, you don’t remember your name, Alistair probably changed it, he does that, he called me something different as well, well your real name is Castiel, I call you Cas for short like a nick name because we’re friends”

Cas slowly crept his arm over Dean’s middle and snuggled a bit closer. He felt safe with Dean and drifted off to sleep.

Down stairs Gabriel and Balthazar could feel how safe Castiel felt with Dean by his side, Gabriel gave Balthazar a smile

“Now do you see?”

“Maybe”

he gave Gabriel a smile back

“I still don’t understand it”

Gabriel just laugh and went back to what he was doing.

When Dean woke up he found Cas had wrapped around him, he had managed to put his other arm under Dean around his back and his right leg had snuck over Dean’s he looked down at Cas who was still fast asleep and smiled

“How did you manage to do that?”

Dean said quietly then looked up and saw Balthazar by the window watching them

“This watching you while you sleep must be an angel thing”

Balthazar just stared back at Dean then finally said

“Gabriel might be right about you being good for him, but if you hurt him I will end you”

“I would never hurt him and you have my permission to do whatever you think if I do”

Balthazar smiled at him “We have an understanding then”

“We do”

“Gabriel and I are going off to follow a few leads today so we wont be around but Gabriel said to call him if you need us Sam has his number or just prey if it’s urgent and you don’t have time to use a phone”

“The house is safe isn’t it?”

“Yes strengthened with archangel powers nothing is able to get in good or bad”

“Ok thanks, Sam has Gabriel’s number?”

“Yes there have been getting quiet friendly”

“Really”

Dean smiled and raised his eyebrows Balthazar laugh

“We will see you later Winchester”

“Yeah ok, you can call me Dean you know”

“Maybe we’ll see”

with that he vanished

“I do believe your brother is starting to like me”


	19. Chapter 19

Dean laid there in the calm of the room it had been half hour before Cas started to twitch in his sleep, another nightmare he was having, he hasn’t had too many since he’s been back to exhausted to dream. Dean said his name a few times to try and rouse him, Cas started to wine

“Cas hey, Cas come on buddy wake up it’s just a dream your ok”

Dean pulled down his hood and started to stroke his hair, Cas started to moan and mumble, Dean couldn’t make out what he was saying

“Cas, Cas come on wake up”

“Dean?”

“Cas?”

Dean was shocked to hear his name it’s the first thing Cas has said since he’s been back he was still asleep but Dean took it as a positive

“Yeah Cas, it’s Dean, can you hear me”

Cas’ eyes flew open

“Dean?”

Cas then clamped his hand over his mouth like he did something wrong and turned shocked eyes to Dean like he was expecting to be punished, it hurt Dean to see that look on Cas’ face, Cas tried to move away from Dean, but he held him tight

“Hey it’s ok Cas, your ok”

He started to stroke his hair again trying to calm him, but Cas didn’t move, he was so tense, the only movement was when he breathed

“What is it Cas, what’s wrong, please talk to me, you can you know , you wont get punished for speaking I promise your safe here with me”

Cas’ eyes flicked over Dean’s face looking for deception, he had been tricked like this before, but couldn’t find any.

Cas lowed his hand from his face and curled it against his chest, he opened and closed his mouth a few times but then kept it closed, tears filed his eyes and he looked away from Dean, Dean knew he wasn’t going to get him to talk now

“It’s alright Cas, you don’t have to speak now, you know once you spoke to me in my head, it made me jump out of my skin”

Dean laugh

“Do you remember that we were in the kitchen and you wanted to tell me something that you didn’t want Sam to hear, if you want to do that, and you can do that, I don’t mind if that’s how you want to communicate”

Cas relaxed a little into Dean and Dean smiled

“You take all the time you want, I’m not going anywhere, and when your ready to talk I’ll be right here waiting ok”

He tightened his hold and kept stroking his hair.

Dean started to hum Cas’ lullaby, Cas had turned his face back to look at Dean and his face relaxed into a small smile, his eyes were getting heavy and he slowly drifted off to sleep.

Dean had stayed close to Cas it has been over a week since he’s been up and about, he still hasn’t talked but would nod or shake his head if asked a question usefully only for Dean or sometimes Gabriel if Dean was in the room with him, he was still having nightmares but that was normal, well not for an angel but after what he had been through, Dean had always been there when he woke, Dean sleeps in the bed beside Cas because that’s what Cas wants and makes him feel safer it makes Dean feel better as well, not that he’ll tell anyone that.

One morning Dean was laying on his side with Cas next to him, Cas was awake looking at Dean while he slept he had moved back just a bit so he could see Dean better, he slowly raised his hand and with only one finger touched Dean’s hair, Dean had been awake for a few min but kept his eyes closed he could tell Cas was awake and was watching him, when he felt Cas touch his hair he just stayed still and let Cas continue.

Cas ran a finger over Dean’s forehead down his nose and across under his eyes, over his cheeks, he was feeling Dean’s skin he added another finger to the touch and ran them down his cheek bones and across his chin, he came back to go across his lips slowly, there were softer then the rest of his face his fingers ran across his cheek and down Dean’s neck over his shoulder, Cas’ hand stopped on top of Dean’s t-shirt sleeve his hand went down further and stopped at the edge of his sleeve and pulled it up to uncover his own hand print on Dean’s arm.

Cas sucked in a breath and Dean could feel Cas’ finger following the out line of the print and very quietly said to him self

“That’s me”

Dean had opened his eyes when Cas had spoken Cas laid his whole hand on his mark and looked at Dean

“That’s me?”

Dean just nodded and didn’t say anything Cas looked back at his hand

“I recognize that as me, but how can that be?”

Dean spoke as quietly as Cas did

“When you pulled me out of hell Cas you healed my body and soul with your grace, and left a small piece behind, I have this to remind me”

“I’m sorry”

“Don’t be Cas, I think it’s kind of cool”

Dean smiles back at Cas

“Besides it tells me what your feeling it’s our bond Cas , and I wouldn’t change it for anything”

Cas just looks at him “Really?”

“Yes really”

Cas smiles and moves closer to Dean still with his hand on his mark “What happens now?”

“Well Cas when your feeling stronger, I guess we should ask Gabriel about your grace”

“My grace?”

“Yeah when you went to hell you berried it deep inside your self”

“Why did I do that?”

“It was part of the deal you made with Alistair”

A shiver ran down Cas’ spine hearing Alistair’s name, Dean felt it and tightened his hold

“It’s alright Cas he can’t get you here I promise, Balthazar and Gabriel both strengthened the barrier around the house, there’s no way he’s getting in”

“I can’t stay here for ever Dean”

“I know Sam and the others are still trying to find a way to kill him, we’ll find something, something has to be out there that will work, and after it’s done we can both relax and get back to normal”

“What if there isn’t anything?”

“There has to be something Cas, if it lives, it can be killed”

Cas snuggled closer to Dean and laid there thinking till Cas spoke

“I don’t know what normal is?”

“What do you mean Cas?”

“When it’s finished you said we’ll get back to normal, but I don’t remember what that is”

“Back to before all this happened”

“What was that?”

Dean thought how to explain about hunting, he didn’t want to scare Cas talking about monsters if he didn’t remember, he’d only started to speak again

“Well you helped me and Sam, saving people in trouble and help them, we travelled around in my car to different places stayed at motels, eat at dinners, we come back here to Bobby’s when he needs help or we need to rest”

“Sounds nice”

“Yeah” Dean smiles “Yeah it is Cas”

Cas slowly drops off back to sleep. Dean lays there happy that Cas has started to speak and hopes he doesn’t stop again he’d missed Cas’ voice, he must have been feeling safer to have spoken, so Dean will make sure no one pushes him to hard so he doesn’t go back into his shell. He hopes to god they can find something that will work on Alistair sooner rather than later, he hasn’t shown up yet but Dean knows he will soon, Alistair doesn’t like loosing what he thinks is his, but Dean will put him straight and tell him Cas doesn’t belong to him, he’s always belonged with Dean standing by his side, and not kneeling at Alistair’s feet like he thinks he’ll put him straight on that.


	20. Chapter 20

In the morning Dean wakes first and see’s Gabriel sitting at the end of the bed with his legs crossed and looking though a book

“Hey”

Gabriel looks up at Dean

“How long you been there?”

“Few hours, Castiel was unsettled so I helped him settle”

Dean glanced at Cas “I didn’t feel him stir?”

“It wasn’t much I stopped it before it developed into anything”

“That’s good, thanks”

Gabriel smiled at him

“he’s my brother Dean, you don’t have to thank me for helping him, I’ll help him whenever I can”

Dean smiled back “Yeah sorry, I’m just not use to having Cas’ brothers around”

They sat in silence for a bit

“He’s very close to you”

Dean looked a little uncomfortable

“Yeah I guess, we’ve been through a lot together”

Gabriel nodded “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure”

“It’s been on my mind for a while”

Dean looked a little unsure to where this conversation was going

“The first night I brought Cas back when he woke and panicked, he curled himself up in the corner”

“Yeah I remember”

“You were trying to reassure him he was safe”

Dean carefully sat up and tried not to wake Cas, and lent against the head board

“You were humming a tune to him”

“Yeah”

Gabriel looked into Dean’s eyes “Where did you learn it?”

“From Cas”

Gabriel glanced down at Cas still curled up next to Dean asleep

“From Cas”

“Yeah, when Cas got me away from Alistair, when he had me in the warehouse, it caused me to have flash backs of when I was in hell, Cas was the only one who could bring me out of them and sometimes he would sing to me, he said it calmed me down, I didn’t remember the words but the tune I did and it calmed him like it did me, why?”

Gabriel just shook his head and looked away

“Gabriel?”

Gabriel looked back at Castiel and Dean followed his line of sight to Cas

“It was you that taught him, wasn’t it?”

Gabriel nodded “I use to sing it to him when he was young, I didn’t know he remembered it”

They sat in comfortable silence, Dean was surprised how relaxed he was around Gabriel

“So, what’s with you and Sam?”

Gabriel looked puzzled and Dean grinned at him

“Balthazar said you were getting friendly with him”

Dean raised his eyebrows and Gabriel laugh

“Your little brother is very interesting, always asking questions, he’s like an encyclopaedia he just stores it away in that big head of his”

“Yeah that sounds like Sammy”

They both laugh again as Gabriel looked down at Cas

“How’s he doing?”

Dean looked down at Cas as well

“he’s doing better he started talking last night”

“Really? That is good”

“Yeah, he seems more relaxed as well, we were talking about his grace”

“I guess we really need to speak about that don’t we? I was waiting for him to recover more”

Just then Cas started to stir and wake up, he opened his eyes and looked up at Dean, Dean smiled back at him

“It’s ok Cas, just me and Gabriel”

Cas turned and looked at Gabriel

“Hi Bro” Cas smiled at Gabriel

“Hello, Gabriel”

Gabriel’s smile grew and looked at Dean

“ Music to my ears”

Cas moved and sat up next to Dean

“I … I wanted to thank you Gabriel” Cas said quietly

“For what?”

“For coming for me”

Gabriel looked a little shocked “Cas… come on, I would never leave you there”

“Still it was a great risk for you”

“When I found out exactly where you were, with Dean’s help, it didn’t take much to find the right path and I had Balthazar with me, I only wish I could have got there sooner”

Cas turned his eyes to Dean then back to Gabriel

“But how did you know where I was?”

Gabriel looked at Dean “ I used the grace you left in Dean to connect to you, it showed me where to go”

“That was very dangerous”

Cas looked at Dean

“Were you alright?”

“Yeah Cas I was fine”

“Did you see me there?”

Cas’ eyes went wide and he started to move away from Dean, Dean could feel him starting to panic

“Hey”

he put his arm around Cas’ shoulders and pulled him back

“Don’t do that, you have seen me at my worst and I know what it’s like down there, I would never judge you Cas you remember that”

Cas had relaxed back in Dean’s hold as Dean brought his other arm around and hugged him tight.

Gabriel waited until Cas was relaxed again before talking

“Me and Dean was talking about your grace but before we do this, I need to see how deep you had to berry it… is that alright bro?”

Cas looked at Dean then back to Gabriel and gave him a nod

“Ok great, I need to hold your hands Cas”

Cas looked a little worried again he didn’t like others touching him except for Dean Cas turned worried eyes towards Dean who gave him a gentle smile

“Don’t worry Cas, Dean’s staying right here with you , isn’t that right Dean?”

“Yeah I’m not going anywhere Cas”

Cas moved to sit up and closer to Gabriel he crossed his legs and copied Gabriel’s position Dean moved closer and sat to the side next to both of them in the middle. Gabriel opened his hands in front of Castiel and waited.

Cas rubbed his hands down his legs a couple of times he glanced at Dean then Gabriel, he hesitated a few times but then put his hands on Gabriel’s

“There you go Bro, I don’t bite”

Cas gave him a shy smile “Sorry”

“No need to be, I know it’s hard for you, if you start to feel uncomfortable or you want to stop just squeeze my hands and I’ll pull back ok”

Cas gave him a nod

“Ok lets start then”

“This won’t hurt him, will it?”

“No Dean it won’t it will feel like a warmth travelling through his body until it finds Cas’ grace”

“You ok Cas?”

“I’m fine Dean”

“I may glow a bit but don’t worry about it, alright lets give it a go”

Gabriel closes his eyes and concentrates, they was light glowing between Gabriel’s and Cas’ hands and Cas felt the warmth Gabriel said that would travel through his bobby going up his arms and into his body he looked to Dean a little worried, but Dean gave him a smile and a nod which made him feel a little better he turned back to Gabriel who now has his eyes open smiling.

“There it is, wow that’s deep” he focused on Cas “I’m going to try and release it a bit ok Cas” Castile nodded “Ok here we go”

Gabriel used his grace and tried to pull on Castiel’s it released a bit so Gabriel tried to pull a bit more but it made Cas gasp and squeeze his hand

“Ok Cas I’ll pull back, just hang on”

“Gabriel?”

Gabriel pulled his grace back into him

“There you go Cas, it’s over your ok?”

“Yes, thank you Gabriel”

Dean looked between them “So how did it go, did you find it?”

“Yes, but it’s pretty deep, it’s going to take a few times to release it completely, I managed a little today”

Gabriel looked to Cas

“I’m sorry, I tried to pull to much that’s when you felt uncomfortable I promise I’ll go slower next time”

Castile smiled and gentle stroked the side of Gabriel’s face

“It’s alright Gabriel, it felt wired that’s all”

he placed both hands back in his lap and looked down Gabriel looked at Dean a little shocked by Castiel’s touch, Dean smiled at him and stroked down Cas’ back

“You did really well Cas”

Cas smiled shyly up at Dean and Dean ruffled his hair, Cas pulled back and Dean and Gabriel both laugh which made Cas’ smile grow.

“How about we go down stairs and have some breakfast?”

Cas looked a little unsure

“It will do you good bro, to interact a bit more”

“We don’t have to stay long, we can come back up here if you feel uncomfortable ok”

“Alright Dean”

Cas got off the bed and went into the bathroom

“Gabriel can you go down stairs and let everyone know not to make a fuss and keep everything calm, and tell Sam to lay off the questions"

Gabriel smiled “Of course Dean”

Gabriel still smiled at Dean’s worried face

“What?”

“You know you will make a good mum one day Dean”

“Fuck off”

Gabriel laughs as Dean throw a pillow at him and disappeared, he reappeared in the living room still smiling

“ok everyone listen up I have orders from sir Dean”

“What’s going on”

“Well Sammy, Cas is coming down and Dean wants to make sure he doesn’t freak out, so no questions just act normal he may not speak he has only just starting to with Dean, and if he does anything weird just ignore it”

“What do you mean by weird” Bobby asked

“Well he may stick very close to Dean”

“Nothing unusual about that boy”

“It may be closer then your use to Bobby”

“Well if it makes him feel better he can do what ever he wants”

Gabriel smiled at Bobby just as Sam asks “So how’s he doing?”

“Thanks to your brother pretty well, as I said he’s only just started to talk to Dean so he may not say anything and no touching, he’s still not comfortable with that”

They heard steps on the stairs Gabriel looks to the door then back at Sam and Bobby

“Remember act normal “

Gabriel crosses his arms over his chest and stood there, then he hoped over to the sofa and sat next to Sam. Bobby huffed and shook his head and Sam just laugh at Gabriel

“What?”

“I think you’re the one that needs to act normal more then us”

“Ok so I’m a little nervous, it’s a big step for him, he hasn’t been around people for 70 years remember”

“I know, I’m sure he’ll be fine, it’s just me and Bobby”

“Yeah”

That didn’t help Gabriel relax he wasn’t sure how Castiel was going to react being out of his room, but Dean was with him so he’ll be fine he kept reminding himself.

Dean and Cas was walking slowly down the stairs Cas kept stopping and starting. Dean was patient and went at Cas’ speed, Cas was nervous about being with other people but felt better with Dean by his side.

“Come on Cas it will be fine it’s just Gabriel with Sam and Bobby”

“But I don’t remember them”

“Maybe seeing them will jog your memory”

Cas gave Dean a look which made Dean smile

“Come on, remember your safe in this house”

They continued down stairs and walked through the door, Bobby was sitting on his desk and Sam on the couch with Gabriel

“Ok Cas?”

Cas was looking at the floor but gave Dean a nod. Dean took his hand and lead him further into the room

“Well here’s Sam, my brother sitting with your brother”

Cas glanced up quickly

“Hi cas” Sam said with a smile

“I think we should keep an eye on those two” Dean said quietly to Cas

“Dean!” Sam said while Gabriel just laugh

“This is Bobby”

Cas glanced up again and Bobby nodded at him with a smile

“So any coffee around?”

“Should be boy”

“come on Cas you hungry? I can make us some sandwiches"

They went into the kitchen, Dean went to the coffee pot and Cas saw Benji under the table and knelt down next to him he smiled at Benji when he looked up at him, Cas gently touched the top of Benji’s hand and Benji did the same to Cas’ hand.

Dean was watching them, it was like they were communicating in there own way, Benji had a few cushions and a blanket with him, probably Sam’s doing, Dean knelt down next to Cas

“Hey benji, do you want a sandwich or something?”

Benji didn’t respond to Dean and just kept looking at Cas

“He doesn’t need to eat Dean”

Benji hearing Cas speak gasped and moved back looking around the kitchen expecting Alistair to appear and punish Cas for speaking

“It’s alright we are safe in this house, he cant get in, we are free of him”

It would take Benji longer to understand that, he had been with Alistair for century’s and didn’t know the meaning of freedom any more.

Dean made there sandwiches and handed one to Cas who was still sitting on the floor with Benji so Dean joined him as well, they sat quietly and ate when they finished Dean took the plates and put them in the sink he stood in the doorway so he could hear Sam and Bobby talking but made sure Cas could still see him.

Gabriel looked towards Dean with a frown but Dean smiled and nodded to let him know Cas was fine. There stayed down stairs for another hour they had moved to the living room with Cas sitting closely next to Dean on the sofa.

Dean could see Cas getting tired “Come on Cas time for bed”

Dean stood up and Cas followed

“Night cas” Sam said Cas looked towards him and gave him a small wave then followed Dean up stairs he sleep’s quiet well that night.


	21. Chapter 21

 In the morning Dean showed him how to set up the shower while he went down stairs, he wanted to ask Sam about the research and if they had found anything about Alistair.

When he was coming back up stairs Dean stopped by the door hearing voices inside

“No I wont leave”

“But Cassie, you need to build your grace up and staying here won’t help, it will take longer”

“I don’t care I don’t want to leave hi……” Cas suddenly stopped

“What, you don’t want to leave him, come on Cassie you think he wants you around like this, powerless and having to look after you”

Dean barged into the room

“Get out you son of a bitch, he’s not going anywhere, if he wants to stay then he stays”

Dean and Balthazar start to argue loudly and yelling at each other about how best to help Castiel, they don’t notice how Cas shrinks back against the head board of the bed with his hands over his ears and withdraws into himself.

He doesn’t notice Gabriel appear at the side of the bed next to him.

Gabriel takes in the atmosphere of the room and the state of Cas, he lays a hand on Cas’ shoulder as Cas jumps he turns sad fear filled eyes towards his brother, Gabriel gives him a gentle smile and snaps his fingers and the room goes quiet.

“That better bro?”

A small smile and a nod Cas manages to give Gabriel he lowers his hands and slowly relaxes in the quiet of the room.

The moment Dean and Balthazar appear downstairs they both fall silent looking around then staring at each other

“Why did you do that”

“It wasn’t me you hairless ape” Balthazar growled at Dean

“Did Cas do it?” Dean asked

“No, he’s still to week he doesn’t have enough power for this, it must have been Gabriel”

“Why the hell did he do that?”

“You were shouting pretty loudly”

“Me are you serious”

Sam walked in “What’s going on”

“He” Dean said pointing a finger at Balthazar “Was trying to make Cas leave”

Just then Gabriel appeared in the room

“Why the hell did you make us leave” Dean yelled as soon as he layer eyes on Gabriel

Gabriel stayed at him for a few minutes before answering in a low and calm voice trying to keep his anger in check

“It may have escaped your notice that Castiel was shaking in fear on his bed and that maybe, just maybe he doesn’t like loud noises and both of you yelling at each other in anger doesn’t help with that fear” Gabriel had gotten louder at the end and took a deep breath before continuing

“I’m sure you remember how it was down there Dean, seven months he was down there”

All the anger drained out of Dean and he sank down onto the couch, Balthazar huffed into the room

“And don’t think your getting away with it either, you should know better, didn’t you feel how unsettled Cas was getting?”

“I was preoccupied”

“That’s no excuse, I was three states away and felt him”

Balthazar looked away from Gabriel after hearing that

“He has only started speaking again after his ordeal and I will not let him retreat into his mind again. Now what was so dame important that you couldn’t discuss it with out yelling at each other?”

Gabriel was looking between Dean and Balthazar waiting for a reply

“He was trying to make Cas leave”

“I was trying to do what’s best for him”

“So taking him away from his friends who care about him is the best thing for him”

“Yes, he would be with his family we could help him more”

“O yeah, you have really been there for him in the past when he needed help”

“You idiot” Gabriel breathed out Dean’s hackles went up as he turned to Gabriel

“You too, don’t you think we can help him”

Balthazar had a smug look on his face

“Not you” Gabriel said to Dean and turned to Balthazar “You”

“What?” Balthazar was amazed that Gabriel turned to him

“When will you learn that Dean is very important to our brother and he wants to stay close to him, he is the one Cas feels safe with more then us at the moment and under no circumstances is he going to leave if he doesn’t want to”

Gabriel looked at Dean and Dean gave him a small smile back

“Now if Cas feels better here while he heals then here we’ll stay with him and make sure he keeps safe”

Gabriel turns to Bobby “That’s if its alright with you of course”

“Sure why not, the more the merrier I say” Bobby looks towards Sam “Two more angels cant be bad”

“Archangel” Sam sent back and Gabriel smiled

“So how’s Cas now?”

“He’s sleeping and I think it best if he’s not disturbed for a while”

The two angels disappear for a while to take care of some business, Gabriel tells Dean to call if he needs him.

Dean creped upstairs to check on Cas only to find him still sleeping peacefully.

 

Cas wakes a few hours later to find Dean sitting by the bed looking across the room and out the window he’s lost in his own thoughts

“Dean?”

Dean turns to look at Cas

“Are you alright Dean?”

Dean smiles at him

“I should be the one asking you that”

Cas frowns at him

“I’m sorry Cas for earlier with Balthazar”

“It’s alright Dean”

“No it’s not we were shouting at each other and scared you, you don’t need that, I’m sorry it won’t happen again I promise”

Cas smiles at him again and sits up

“You slept alright Cas?”

“Yes Gabriel put me to sleep so I didn’t dream”

“That’s good, do you want to go down stairs?”

Cas thought for a second “Yes alright Dean”

There made their way down stairs to the kitchen where Bobby was cooking “Morning boys”

“Morning Bobby”

Benji was still sitting under the table he hadn’t moved since arriving Dean understood Benji was mostly kept in a cage when he wasn’t with Alistair or on a rear occasion left with Dean , when Dean was off the rack he was given a key to his cage for when he wanted to practice.

Dean shuddered at the thought and turned away from the demon and back to Cas who was staring wide eyed out the window shacking violently

“Cas what’s wrong?”

But it was Benji that answered so quietly Dean nearly missed it

“Masters here”

“Shit!”

Dean looked out the window towards the gate and could see a figure standing there

“Crap”

He turned back to Cas just in time to see him and Benji vanish

“CAS! Fuck”

he headed for the door

“Gabriel, Balthazar I need you **NOW!”**

he yelled as he left the house he could hear Bobby calling him, he could see Cas and Benji still on this side of the barrier kneeling in front of Alistair with there heads bowed.

Gabriel and Balthazar appeared just as Dean reached Cas and grabbed his arm and pulled him up

“Cas get the fuck up”

“But my mast…”

“No, he’s not your master”

“But Dean”

“Silence you know better then to talk” Alistair spoke from across the barrier

“You shut up” Dean pointed a finger at Alistair “You can’t tell him what to do any more”

“O, really, angel kneel before your master or be punished”

Just like that Cas started to drop to his knees Dean grabbed both of his arms and shook him a little while holding him up

“Cas no don’t listen to him, your safe here with me your free of him, he cant get to you here”

Cas looked confused not sure what to do just as Sam and Bobby joined him

“Sam take him inside and keep him there will you” Dean said pushing Cas to Sam, Cas was in kind of a daze and Sam guided him back to the house

“Come on Cas it will be ok”

“You go to Bobby”

“You sure son”

“Yeah just keep an eye on them, take Benji as well can you, Benji get up and go with Bobby, Benji!”

But Benji didn’t move Dean nodded his head towards the house for Bobby to leave. Dean looked back at Alistair who had a wide smile on his face Gabriel was the one who spoke first

“What do you want here?”

“You took something that belongs to me, and I want him back”

“Well your not getting him”

“We had a deal and he has only served 7 months, I still have 5 more months left with him his deal was for a year”

Dean looked at Gabriel who replied “Why don’t you come and get him then”

Alistair hummed and raised his hand to the barrier making it crackel with power

“I think not, I don’t fancy getting burned today”

“that’s a shame I wouldn’t mind seeing that” Dean said to Alistair

“I bet you would” Alistair smiles at Dean “What of my demon, he has no part in this why did you take him?”

“honestly I have no idear” Gabriel said

“then give him back”

“why is he so important to you?”

“ha, he’s not I keep him around for my entertainment and to do my dirty work”

He glanced at Dean

“he always looked so nice coverd in my pets blood”

Dean went a bit pale as Alistair looked down at Benji

“Benji, you want to come home with master or stay here?”

“come home with master…please”

“you see he’s mine he doesn’t want to be here so release him”

“I don’t think so”

Dean said looking down at Benji

“you wont be able to sway him as easily as my little angel, he’s been with me for centerys and he’ll do what ever I tell him”

“doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try”

“you want proof, Benji, touch the barrier”

Benji emidetly puts his hand on the barrier and screems, Dean pulls him back as Alistair laughts

“see Dean he’ll do that every time I tell him to, Benji, touch it again”

Benji tries to get out of Deans grip so he can touch the barrier again

“Benji, no stop it” Dean’s yelling at him Gabriel turns to Balthazar

“Balthazar” Balthazar nods and goes to Benji still struggling in Dean’s arms and touches his arm they both vanish returning to the house

“well look at that 7 down to 2 that was fast”

“I will ask you once more why are you here?"

“I have told you, I have come for _my_ angel”

“he’s not _your_ angel”

“Dean” Gabriel says “your not having Castiel with out a fight, so why not just leave him and cut your loses”

“to have an angel in Hell, I will put up a fight, he was marvellous, you should have heard him Dean, such pretty noises he made, you would have loved it he screemed till he couldet make a noise, to have something that wasn’t use to pain, it was fantastic even the smallest touch caused him pain, and I will not give him up easily, I will find a way to have him and take him back”

With that Alistair dissapeard

Dean looked at Gabriel “now what do we do?”

Gabriel let out a breath and started to walk towards the house

“come on lets check on Cas”


	22. Chapter 22

When there entered the house Benji was back under the table with Balthazar next to him he shrugged his shoulders when he saw Gabriel and stayed where he was. Bobby was standing by the door way to the lounge 

“You ok dean”

“Yeah I’m fine, where’s cas?” 

“Sam’s been trying to talk to him”

Dean looked into the room, Cas was squatting on the couch rocking back and forth with his eyes looked on the floor it reminded dean of Benji’s movements when he first got here. Sam was trying to calm him, boobed down infrount of Cas and talking softly, Dean went over to him 

“Hey Sammy, I’ll take over now, thanks”

“Dean you ok?” 

“Yeah I’m fine”

“I tried talking to him but he’s not responding to anything”

“Its alright Sam”

Sam got up and Dean took his place

“Hey Cas”

Cas stopped rocking and looked up at him as soon as his eyes looked onto Dean’s  
He let out a sob and lent forward untill his fourhead rested on Dean’s shoulder

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry”

Dean rapped his arms around him and strocked his back

“Cas, come on, you don’t need to say sorry”

“I don’t know what happened Dean, as soon as I saw him I was back there and had to obay him”

“I know Cas, I know it’s alright”

Cas started to cry on Dean’s shoulder

“Hey come on Cas your alright he’s gone now2

“But he’ll be back”

“Not for a while” 

Dean sat next to him on the sofa

“Here lay down”

Cas layed on the sofa with his head on Dean’s lap faceing him, he didn’t want to see the others, Sam and Bobby had already left and gone into the kitchen, only Gabriel was left with them.  
Dean started to hum cas’ lullaby and stroked throw his hair while Dean’s other hand rubbed up and down his arm it didn’t take long for Cas to drift off to sleep.

Gabriel came over and put a blanket over Cas and sat on the coffee table infrount of them

“Can you make it so he doesn’t dream?”

“Sure Dean”

Gabriel lent forward and touched cas’ head when he removed his hand Cas relaxed into Dean 

“thanks”

Gabriel smiled at him but Dean didn’t return it

“He’s not getting him”

“No he’s not Dean, we will find something” 

“We have been looking for months with no luck, what about Crowley will he help?”

I’ve already asked him and he’s looking into it he hasn’t found anything yet but if he does he’ll let me know right away”

“Even if its only a little thing we need to know”

“We will dean”

“I don’t know what else to do Gabriel” 

“Its ok Dean something will turn up”

Dean looks down at Cas

“Dean he’s safe while he’s here, Alistair cant get through that barrier, I swear to you”

“But he said he’s gona find a way”

“Me and Balthazar cheek it every morning and night it hasn’t fadded once, come on dean you cant do this, I need you here for Cas he only responds to you” 

“Yeah I’m fine its alright”

Gabriel gives him a dought full look

“It’s just wasn’t so long ago I was in his possession” 

“I understand Dean your still getting over your ordeal, and now you have to deal with Castile’s too”

“don’t get me wroung, I would never leave cas and not help him, its just sometimes I get stuck in my head and it was cas that talked me through it and helped me calm down”

“Well I’m no Cas but I am here if you want to talk to someone”

“Thanks Gabe but I’ll be fine”

“Of course you will be, im just saying”

Gabriel gave him a knowing smile which this time dean did return

“Thanks”

“No problem Dean’o”

Gabriel leaned over and stroked cas’ hair

“You have done more than enough for me”

Dean smilled and looked down at cas again.

 

The next day was quiet Cas wouldn’t speak and stayed in there room, Dean stayed with him so did Gabriel the next day was the same he only sleeped when Gabriel put him to sleep. By the third day dean was worried Cas would just stair in frount of him and wouldn’t move from the bed when Dean brought him something to eat it would go untouched 

Cas was sitting on the bed against the head board with his legs crossed staring across the room

“Ok I’ve had enough” 

Dean sat in frount of Cas in the same position as him and took his hands in his

“Cas you gota snap out of it… you cant let him do this to you were doing so well come on cas please”

Cas said nothing his eyes going straight though Dean

“Cas please I’m freecking out here will you please look at me”

Still nothing from Cas, Dean put his hands on each side of Cas’ face so he could look into his eyes

“Cas come on man please, I cant loose you”

Dean stared at him he didn’t know what to do to reach Cas he could usually reach him with a touch or words but even humming his lullaby didn’t help Dean could feel his eyes filling with tears and let them fall down his face he didn’t want to let go of Cas, he bowed his head as more tears fell he looked up when he felt fingers in his hair, Cas blinked a couple of times and focused on Dean, he touched Dean’s tears and very quietly said

“Why?….” He took a breath “don’t cry dean” 

Dean pulled Cas into a hug 

“I’m sorry Dean… I’m sorry”

Dean just hugged him

“It’s ok Cas everything’s ok”

There stayed like that for a few minuites 

They moved back to look at each other Dean wiped his tears

“don’t do that again ok, you really scared me”

“I’m sorry, I won’t”

“I felt like you left and I couldn’t reach you” 

“I’m sorry I scared you I didn’t mean to”

“I know Cas I care about you you’re my best friend I cant loose you Cas”

“I care about you to Dean”

Cas smiled shyly at him and Dean laugh

“Come on lets sleep you havent sleept proply for a few days”

Cas layed down next to Dean and snuggled into him, Dean let out a breath he had missed sleeping with Cas he hadent really sleeped in the last few days, Cas looked up at him and Dean smiled and rapped his arms around him they both fell asleep quickly and didn’t wake till morning.


	23. Chapter 23

Dean woke up before Cas and layed watching him sleep, Castile looked peaceful and relaxed he was curled up next to Dean with a blanket wrapped around him, he would still get cold sometimes but not so much, he’d stopped shaking like he was when he first got back, he still wore Dean’s hoody and rearly took if off, licking the soft fabric against his skin Dean would see him feeling the fabric when he was thinking about something he was tired. 

Dean decided to leave him sleeping peacefully and got up to have his shower. After he got changed he checked on Cas once more then went down stairs.

Sam and Bobby were sitting at his desk working, Dean nodded at them when he entered, he was surprised to see Gabriel sitting on the couch looking though a book he went to get some coffee then sat next to Gabriel

“Interesting book” Dean asked 

“yes Bobby’s library has some interesting volumes” Gabriel paused and looked at Dean “is Cas still sleeping?”

“yeah, he looked peaceful so I left him sleeping”

“humm… hell need it after the last couple of days”

“so you guys found anything?” Dean asked with a raised voice so Bobby and Sam could hear him

“a hole lot of nothing” Bobby answer and rubbed his hand down his face he got up and went into the kitchen

“Sam?”

“I’ve got nothing, we have been though most of Bobby’s books ”

“what about Crowley?” Dean asked turning towards Gabriel

“no haven’t heard from him, he said he would let us know if he found anything” 

Gabriel turned to Dean and noticed how pail he was dean was staring in front of him breathing deeply 

“Dean?…what…” then Gabriel felt it “Cas”

Dean shot up from his chair and ran up stairs cas was having a nightmare and could feel how scared he was from down stairs, Sam got up as dean ran out of the room and Bobby asked what was going on. Gabriel stopped them from following dean saying Cas needed dean at the moment and he would follow in case dean needed help.

When Gabriel entered the bed room Dean looked at him with desperate eyes

“I… I cant wake him, he wont wake up” Gabriel came nearer 

“oh god Gabe, he’s so scared, why cant I wake him?”

“take it easy Dean” Gabriel placed a hand on Cas’ head and concentrated when he took his hand away he took a deep breath “he’s not dreaming… he’s reliving a memory”

Dean looked at Gabe knowing that most of Cas’ memories aren’t good

“fuck, how do we wake him?”

“we cant, we have to help him find his way out”

Gabriel placed a hand on dean and instantly they were somewhere else. Dean looked around and started to hyperventilate and shake, Cas was remembering his time in hell, there was screaming, chains rattling and red everywhere and the smell of sulphur was so strong it made him gag

“shit Dean, I’m sorry I didn’t know what he was dreaming of, are you alright, try taking a deep breath and calm down”

Dean looked up at Gabriel from where he knelt “thanks for the advice”

Gabriel shrugged “sure anything to help” he held out his hand and helped him up 

“we need to find Cas, he cant be far its his dream right?”

“can you sense him at all” Gabriel asked Dean

“with all this” Dean moved his arms around “no man, its kind Hard to concentrate at the moment”

“I understand don’t worry we’ll find him… come on”

They started walking “cant you sense him?”

“no I tried, I keep getting pulled back to his sleeping body”

They walked a couple of feet then heard a loud scream that made them both jump

“that way” dean said “that was Cas” 

Gabriel didn’t say anything and followed Dean quietly, dean may not be able to sense Cas but he seemed to know where he was going after a few more minutes of walking on red hot rocks, they came to a room there was a rack in the middle and on that rack was Cas chained down, Dean ran up to him 

“Cas, hey Cas its alright we’re here, well get you out” 

Dean started to pull at his chains, Gabriel put his hand on Deans shoulder

“Dean that’s not him”

Dean looked at Cas on the rack “what do you mean, its not him?”

“its not the one we are looking for… that’s dream Cas we need to find the real one, the one having the memory not the one taking part”

Dean was a little confused but trusted Gabriel enough to let go of Cas on the rack, which was a lot harder that it looked. Gabriel looked around and caught sight of the real Castiel standing off to one side just staring at himself on the rack

“ahh… there you are” he said Dean followed his line of sight 

“Cas” Dean walked slowly to him

“careful Dean, he may be our Cas but he’s still out of it”

“but he’s our Cas, right?” he looked at Gabriel who nodded “then I’ll be fine”

That made Gabriel smile, Dean was probly right Cas would never hurt Dean as long as Cas knew it was really Dean

“Cas?” Dean walked closer “hey Cas” 

Cas was still staring passed him like he didn’t even register he was there. Dean got in front of him and blocked his line of sight of Cas being tortured behind them, it was hard ignoring his pleads and screams he was making but Dean knew he couldn’t help that one, but this Castiel right in front of him he could help. 

He got up close to him and slowly Cas’ eyes went to his

“hey Cas, how you doing?” 

He tried to keep his voice upbeat and friendly, which was hard considering where they were. Cas moved his head to the side to try and look round Dean, but Dean moved with him and kept blocking his line of sight

“uh,uh… you keep looking at me Cas” Cas’ eyes returned to Dean’s “do you know who I am?”

After a minuet Cas nodded

“who?” Dean questioned

“Dean”

“that’s right”

Cas gave him a frown and a worried look

“what are you doing here Dean, you shouldn’t be here, what if master comes back he’ll put you on the rack again and I cant help you this time ?” Cas was getting panicked 

“wow, slow down Cas, for one I’m not going back on the rack and two you don’t have a master, you got out, this is a dream cas, your dreaming”

Cas thought foe a moment “then your not really Dean”

“no I am, I’m in your dream”

“how?”

“Gabriel” Dean pointed and looked at Gabriel and Cas followed where he was looking to see Gabriel who smiled and waved at Cas 

“O… I see”

Just then a very loud and terrifying scream tore though them, Dean winced and ducked, Cas slammed his hands over his ears and squeezed his eyes shut and even Gabriel jumped and his eyes darted around unsure what to do he looked back at dean who nodded and asked if he was alright then turned back to Cas, Cas was shaking and breathing heavy 

“hey, its ok Cas” Dean reached up and removed Cas hands from his ears, Cas opened his eyes which were full of fear

“I don’t want to be here”

“I know, shit Cas ,come here” Dean pulled Cas to him and hugged him close, Cas berried his face in Deans neck and sobbed, Dean tightened his arms around him

“Cas we need to get away from this”

“how?”

“well, um… let me think. it’s a dream right, so all you need to do is think of something else”

“is that all” Cas huffed

“yeah I know, easer said then done”

They was another scream that made Cas tighten his grip around Dean

“easy Cas, your ok, I’m right here”

Dean thought how to get Cas to think of something else then he had an idea

“hey Cas, you remember the lake?”

No answer came from Cas 

“when I was having nightmares you would help me and take me to the lake in my dreams” 

Cas shook his head, Dean started to rub his back to help calm him 

“sure you do there was clear water which shined with the sun, green soft grass and it had trees to one side and a dock where we would sit, you liked to dangle your feet in the water, you said it was peaceful there”

“you… you would put your feet in the water too”

Dean smiled “yeah I did Cas, can you see it? Think of the warm sun on your skin and the cool breeze on your face”

As Dean was talking Gabriel noticed it getting quieter and the red dimming down there was grass growing around his feet and a lake slowly appearing as hell faded away in the background he looked back at Dean and Cas, he was amazed how Dean got though to Cas, he knew no one else would have been able to. He walked over to them and put a hand on Dean’s shoulder to make him look up, Dean did and took in he surrounding and smiled at Gabriel who returned it 

“Cas look, you did it”

Cas slowly lifted his head from Deans shoulder and looked around him

“I’m so proud of you Cas, you did it”

Cas looked shyly as Dean he wasn’t used to being praised anymore, Dean just smiled at him 

“come on”

Dean took his hand and lead him to the end of the dock to sit down he took there shoes off and put their feet in the water.   
Cas looked around “where’s Gabriel?”

“I’m here bro”

Cas looked up as Gabriel came to sit next to him 

“how you doing?”

“I’m fine, thank you for bringing Dean, Gabriel”

“no problem bro, this is nice”

“yes its Dean’s lake”

“its our lake Cas”

Cas turns and smiles at Dean. They sat there for a while so Cas could relax and recover. Dean had laid back looking up at the sky Cas was bent over looking into the water while he wiggled his toes. Gabriel was watching him closely hand thinking how young and innocent he looked at that moment 

“we should go to a real lake one day, you could see what that really feels like”

Cas turns to Gabriel still smiling “I would very much like that”

“so you ready to wake up yet bro”

The smile faded on Cas’ face but it was Dean who spoke

“do we have to” he said in a whinny voice as he stretched his arms above his head, Gabriel and Cas both looked at him 

“you know your not really asleep”

“O yeah, I forgot” 

He laughs a little and sat up and looked at Cas

“so shall we go?”

Cas looked over the water 

“can we return?”

“cause you can Cas, you can come back any time you want” Dean replied

“all of us?” Cas looked at Gabriel 

“sure Cas we can all come back together”

Cas smiled again and returned to look over the water taking a deep breath 

“alright lets go” 

Cas woke up and saw dean and Gabriel looking down at him, Cas smiled and sat up he throw his arms around Dean and Gabriel and pulled them into a hug 

“thank you” Cas said quietly 

Gabriel was surprised when Cas had hugged him as well as Dean and had to blink away tears when Cas pulled back and released them 

Gabriel placed a hand on Cas’ face “I would never leave you in pain, if I can get to you I will, I promise you Castiel, I will never leave you there”

Cas searched Gabriel’s face and then hugged him again this time Gabriel returned it hugging Cas tightly back.


	24. Chapter 24

In the morning Dean woke up to an empty bed he shoot and looked around the room for Cas

“Cas?” he called but here was no answer he ran down stairs and into the living room it was early and no was else was awake, well expect for Gabriel who was looking out the window 

“he’s alright Dean, he’s outside, I’m keeping an eye on him”

“thank God, he scared the shit out of me, what’s he doing?”

Dean walked over and stood next to Gabriel

“well, he’s been walking around your car for the last half hour”

“really?”

“yep, really”

Dean huffed and walked out side to his car, Cas was opposite him

“hey Cas what you doing?”

Cas looked at Dean “hello Dean” he looked back at the car he was running his hand over the metal with a peace full look on his face 

“I think I remember this car, it’s yours isn’t it” he moved his hand alone the roof and down the bonnet “you care about it a great deal”

“yeah, it use to be my dad’s, me and Sam Pratley grew up in it, it was our home”

Cas hummed and looked up at Dean with a smile

“you ok Cas?”

“yes Dean, I’m fine”

Dean nodded and smiled back

“come on lets get some breakfast, when it‘s safer I‘ll take you for a ride if you like”

“I would like that Dean”

“ok great”

They both walked back indoors and started on breakfast. Cas bobbed down to check on Benji, he hadn’t moved from under the table. Cas joined Dean again and helped him as much as he could.

The next few d went by quietly Sam and Bobby would go out on hunts while looking for new information on Alistair trying to find out where he was. It was agreed that one angel would go with them when ever a hunt came up, however Dean was getting restless and wanted to hunt as well, but also wanted to stay close to Cas. Cas wasn’t ready to leave the safety of Bobby’s house yet so Dean was torn wither to leave or stay, then a simple hunt came up close by and Dean wanted to go it would be no longer then a day so it was perfect

So it was decided that Sam and Dean would go with Balthazar and Gabriel would stay with Cas and Bobby. Sam was finishing loading the impala while Cas was watching from his bedroom window. He was feeling anxious with Dean leaving he also felt helpless not being able to go with him 

“you ok bro” Gabriel asked appearing beside him

“I should be going with him”

“why?”

“what if they get into trouble?”

“Balthazar will be with them”

“but it was always my job”

“ah Cas, it will be again, just give your self time”

“what if I never feel like leaving, I cant stay here at Bobby’s forever, I cant return to heaven, I have nowhere to go… Dean wont want a angel following him around whose useless and Brocken”

Cas’ voice got quiet at the end and silent tears ran down his checks, Gabriel turned him so Cas was facing him

“now you listen to me my little brother, first of all you are not broken and you are not useless do you understand me, don’t ever think of yourself like that, or I’ll kick your ass” Gabriel said with a small smile which Cas returned shyly, Gabriel wiped away his tear and carried on 

“as for not being able to return to heaven or have anywhere else to go, you will always have a home with me where you’ll always be welcome”

Cas dropped his head on Gabriel’s shoulder and Gabe rapped his arms around him 

“now as for Dean, I think your mad if you think Dean wont want you around”

“I agree”

Cas and Gabe turned to face the door where Dean was standing with his arms crossed over his chest watching them with a frown

“what’s going on guys?”

Cas looked at the floor adverting his eyes, not able to look at Dean, Dean looked at Gabriel and raised his eyebrows in a silent question

“well Dean’o Cas here was feeling a little sad because he couldn’t come with you at the moment and wouldn’t want his company anymore”

“what?”

Cas turned towards the window 

“of course I told him it was a load of crap”

Dean smiled at Gabe and nodded his head towards the door, Gabe nodded understanding Dean wanted to talk to Cas, he patted his shoulder on the way out and whispered good luck

“Cas?”

Dean took hold of Cas’ shoulders and turned him so he was facing Dean  
Then placed his hands on either side of Cas’ face and tilted Cas’ face so Dean could see him, he had his eye’s tightly closed.

Dean smiled with a shake of his head “come on Cas, look at me please”

Cas shook his head

“why not Cas?”

“I don’t… I don’t want to see the disappointment in your face”

“why would I be disappointed”

“what if… what if I’m too broken to heal”

“Cas your not broken, your just recovering, you haven’t been back long, you were gone seventy years Cas, you need to give yourself more time”

“what if more time doesn’t help Dean” 

“then we’ll cross that bridge when we get there, but no matter what Cas, I will always want you with me nothing will change that”

Cas still hadn’t opened his eyes, Dean ran a hand though Cas’ hair and brought him into a hug which Cas returned 

“do you believe me Cas?” Cas nodded “do you want me to stay?”

Cas pulled back to look at Dean “no Dean you go”

“you sure”

“yes, I feel better, thank you”

“ok, but you phone me if you need to, any time, we aren’t far away and we wont be long”

“Dean”

“and if you need me I’ll come straight back”

“Dean”

“or Balthazar can send me back quick as a flash”

“Dean!”

Dean stopped talking and looked at Cas

“I will be fine, I’ll have Gabriel to keep me company

“are you sure, I don’t mind staying”

Cas smiled at him “Dean go, you’ve been going stir crazy for days, and as you say, you wont be long”

“nope a day tops”

“well you better get going then”

Dean gave him another hug and then both went down stairs. Sam was waiting talking to Gabriel as Dean and Cas entered 

“every thing ok?” Gabriel asked

“yeah, everything’s fine” Dean said glancing at Cas with a smile “you ready Sam?”

“yeah I’m ready lets get going”

Every one went outside to see them off, Bobby gives Sam the information on the case, Balthazar’s talking to Cas reassuring him he’ll take care of them, Dean had hung back with Gabriel 

“alright if he needs me you call or send Balthazar a mind message thingy and he can zap me back”

“Dean he’ll be fine you wont be gone long”

“I know but he wasn’t fine half hour ago was he”

“well that was mostly because he felt useless for not being able to do his job and protect you”

“what! You didn’t tell me that”

“well I couldn’t while he was standing right their could I, he would have felt worse me repeating what he had said”

“yeah I suppose, when I get back I think all three of us need to have a long chat about everything”

“that’s a good idea Dean”

“well I do have them now and again”

They both laugh and heard Sam calling to Dean to hurry up or they’ll never get going after Dean had said another goodbye to Cas, Cas watched the impala drive though the gates and outside the barrier 

“you ok bro?”

“I will be fine Gabriel”

Gabriel hummed and decided to stay close to Cas for the next few hours until Dean’s return.  
Cas wasn’t too bad, now and again Gabriel could tell he was thinking about Dean and distracting him with a task, even Bobby helped by getting Cas to translate some passages in one of his old books that kept him busy for a few hours and Cas enjoyed doing it and gives Bobby a shy smile when he was told how good he had done and Bobby gave him some more to do and Cas was happy to do it feeling happy and content.

He was half way though when he heard the impala pull up outside, he looked at Gabriel and smiled they both went outside to greet them and watched as Sam and Dean unloaded the impala when Dean looked up he meet Cas’ eyes 

“hey Cas how you doing” 

“hello Dean, I’m fine, you? How was the hunt?”

“piece of cake” Dean laugh at Cas’ confused face “it was fine Cas”

“I see” 

Cas followed Dean into the house while Gabriel stayed and talked to Sam

“so the hunt went well”

“yep”

“how was your brother”

“ha… he must have checked his phone every ten seconds, except from that, he was fine”

Gabriel smiled and they both went back inside. Dean was talking to Bobby about the ghost while Cas listened. Sam and Gabriel sat on the couch and joined in the descution, Balthazar entered followed by Crowley 

“look who I found learking outside”

“I do not leark, angel boy” everyone in the room turned and looked at Crowley 

“well don’t I feel the centre of attention”

Cas had taken a step behind Dean out of sight of the demon now present in the room 

“what do you want” Dean said crossing his arms over his chest, he could feel how uncomfortable Cas was and made sure he stayed between the two

“I found a parchment, there’s a passage that mentions Alistair”

“really” Dean took a step forwards then glanced at Cas who was looking at the floor, Dean reached out and rubbed his arm

“its alright Cas, Crowley won’t hurt you besides there’s tow angels, also your brothers, Sammy, Bobby and me all between you and that demon so your safe alright, Cas looked up to meet his gaze and nodded

“ok, I need to see what Crowley’s got, I understand why you don’t want to, but I need too, so why don’t you stay here next to Bobby ok”

Cas gave him a nod and moved closer to Bobby who was sitting at his desk

“you stay here with me son… I’ve got the shotgun”

Bobby said with a smile as Cas raised his eyebrows and Dean laugh and walked over to the others, Crowley had placed the scroll on the table 

“there’s only one paragraph that mentions Alistair as an apprentice of the father of hell, which of course means Lucifer”

“so Lucifer trained him” Sam asked

“yes, it also says there’s only one thing that will kill him”

“what does it say exactly” 

“it says… one who’s rigorous and faced the depths of hell and survives at the hand of the mighty apprentice of the father of hell, and become one himself, he can wield and destroy his master of fear with help from the light of a fallen one who also survived the depths of hell, can awaken the soul of a dagger of their master and slain the mighty one to end his terror”

“what the hell is that suppose to mean” Dean asks annoyed 

“well cupcake, I think it means you”

“what?”

“it says one who’s rigorous and faced the depths of hell and survived, you survived hell and the angels refer to you as the reigous one, right”

Gabriel nods “that’s true, I think he’s right Dean”

“your kidding Gabriel, I’m the one who has to kill him?”

“not just you, you need help from the light of the fallen one who has also survived hell”

Crowley turns his gaze to Castiel, Dean follows where he’s looking then back at Crowley 

“no way, he’s not going anywhere near, you understand me”

“I’m just telling you what it says”

Dean turns and walks over to Cas who’s still by Bobby, Bobby’s rummaging around the books on his desk then over to his book shelf’s 

“Bobby?”

“I need…here!” Bobby pulls down a book and brings it back over to his desk 

“I remember reading about a soul dagger there’s only one in existence, no one has seen in in century”

Bobby flips a few pages as Sam and Gabriel move closer, Crowley stays where he is and listening to what’s being said 

“here it is, the soul dagger, the picture faded a bit and its not very clear” 

Bobby hand the book to Dean, Cas moves closer to see, the moment Dean see’s the picture he recognises the blade and a shocked breath leaves him and he drops the book on the desk, Cas Takes a step back from the book with wide scared eyes

“you seen that before?” Bobby asked them

Dean looks back at Cas and takes his hand “you ok?”

Cas nods but doesn’t say anything but squeezes Dean’s hand, Dean answers Bobby’s question 

“it’s the blade Alistair uses”

“what do you mean, the one he uses” Sam asks Dean

“he uses in hell”

“you mean when he tortured you”

Dean gives him a sharp look then looks back to Cas who’s started to shake violently 

“come on Cas why don’t we go up stairs for a bit”

Dean puts an arm around Cas and guides him up stairs to his bed room. Cas sat down against the head board with his legs crossed, he sees Dean’s hoodie laying on the bed and gathers it up to his chest he berries his face in the softness of the fleece material 

“you ok Cas?”

Cas jumps and nods his head, Dean sits down next to him with a comforting arm over his shoulders 

“you sure about that?”

Cas raises his head to look at Dean “do you believe what it says Dean?”

“that what says Cas?”

“that it is us that has to kill him”

“O…that, well I don’t know Cas, its only Crowley’s translation of the righting I’m sure the others will look into it as well”

“I can’t Dean”

“can’t what?” 

“I’m one strong enough”

“Cas?”

“I can’t kill mast…” Cas takes a deep breath and sighs “Alistair”

“no one says you have to Cas”

“but Crowley…”

“no he doesn’t say you have to kill him it said help from a fallen one, I’m the one who has to kill him, apparently” 

“do you believe it?”

“I don’t know Cas, it’s strange it was written so long ago”

“like a prophesy”

“yeah I suppose”

“you have changed prophecies before Dean, you and Sam have changed you destines many times”

“yeah I guess we have, we’ll look into it more, don’t worry about it now Cas alright, there’s no point until we know more”

Cas nods and snuggles closer to Dean, he brings his knees up to his chest and rests his head on Dean’s shoulder

“I missed you when you were gone”

“yeah I missed you too Cas, why don’t you try and get some sleep its getting late

Cas hums and closes his eyes “will you stay Dean?”

“of course Cas, I’ll watch over you while you sleep, don’t worry”

Dean runs his fingers through Cas’ hair as he drifts off to sleep


End file.
